Dolphins Playoff Hopes Still Marginally Alive, But at Least '72 Remains Unmatched
Despite NBCMiami's sort of brilliant "Fin" headline this morning, the Dolphins playoffs hopes are still alive. Well, not really alive. Their playoff hopes are more zombie-like. It's as if the Dolphins are in a cheesy horror movie where the undead have taken over and bitten the Fins, and the team has one week to get to the last remaining safe zone, where it's rumored there's a small vile of anti-zombie serum left (AKA the wildcard spot). Still following?
Anyway, the Dolphins just need to beat reigning Super Bowl champs the Steelers and hope for the Jets to lose. Oh, and the Ravens and the Texans and the Jaguars. Basically, the odds are about the same as Miley Cyrus winning the Oscar for the Hannah Montana movie.
There is good news, though: The '72 Dolphins finally got to pop their bottle of champagne, because this season's last remaining undefeated team lost. Pretty much on purpose. The Indianapolis Colts pulled their starters in the second half and basically handed the game to the Jets.
We know it's kind of pathetic for a fan base to hold on to a feat from 37 years ago, but that perfect season is pretty much all we have. Most of Marino's records have been broken by Favre. We haven't been to a Super Bowl since '84. We play in Land Shark Stadium and endure Jimmy Buffett songs. We're co-owned by Fergie. OK.
Of course, while we hold on to that bit of pride (and getting to rewatch, over and over again, the look on Peyton Manning's face during the second half), that calculated loss did give the Jets a win, which complicates our own, aforementioned sad playoff hopes.
Even if we did squeak into the playoffs, would it be that exciting anyway? Maybe, maybe if they somehow made it to a hometown Super Bowl, but we want to see the Fins really earn it next time. In fact, in a perfect world, the team that will eventually match the '72 Fins' perfect season would be the Miami Dolphins.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.