Dolphins Axe Trent Green, Marty Booker and others
The Dolphins have cut Trent Green, Marty Booker, LJ Shelton and Keith Traylor, among others today. They also cut Anthony Alabi, Anthony Bryant, Marion Dukes and Joe Toledo.
Toledo -- the guy everyone thought was a Nick Saban draft day steal even though his knees were made of glass, gone. Shelton is also free to go eat as many donuts as his heart desires. And Marty Booker is gone too? Man am I going to miss it when he catches a pass and then immediately falls down even though there isn't a defender within 10 yards of him. And Trent Green? Trent Green! Gone! Free to throw interceptions and die from brain trauma on some other team! Fuck and yes!!
GM Jeff Ireland sent them off with a statement:
"This is never easy, especially since all of these players worked hard during their tenure here," Ireland said. "In particular, in the case of each of the veterans, it's especially difficult to release players who have been productive and valued members of the organization. However, we feel these decisions are in the best interest of the team. I want to thank all of them for their contributions to the Dolphins and wish them good luck."
Nice. I would've said something more along the lines of, "Jesus these fucking guys suck. Damn. How can a bunch of so-called professional football players suck so bad? I haven't seen this much sucking since I saw Lindsey Lohan in a men's room at Mansion. And people wonder how this team managed to only win one fucking game. It was a pleasure showing these no-talent sacks of shit the door. I almost came in my pants when I made it official I was THAT excited. Good riddance you fucking losers! We wish them good luck."
This is why I can never be a General Manager. That and the fact that my horoscope today says I'm going to succeed in the business of homemaking and interior design any day now. Weee!! -- Chris Joseph
For more on sports from Chris Joseph go to FinsNation.com
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Frost Family Bails Out Cash-Strapped Science Museum, Cans Entire Board of Directors
Sat., Feb. 13, 6:00pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 7:00pm
Mon., Feb. 15, 7:30pm
Thu., Feb. 18, 7:30pm
- University of Miami Students Now Have $9,000 Napping Pods to Use on Campus
- Florida LGBT Rights Bill Dead; Still Legal to Fire Someone for Being Gay