Well, it's Jets Week around these parts and that means you can pretty much throw Incognito, Martin, our terrible offensive line, the (hopefully) looking unemployment of the entire front office and coaching staff and everything else out the window. It's Jets Week, which means the only thing we can focus on is beating the ever living shit out of those troglodytes and sending them back to the cave from whence they crawled out of. Here's what to look out for on Sunday:
1. Fighting to Stay Alive in the Wildcard Playoff Race...or Which Team Can Outsuck The Other
Thanks to an odd NFL season where the dropoff from the top teams in the AFC to the bottom is considerable, there is a final 6th playoff spot currently up for grabs between 6 teams - 2 of which are the Dolphins and Jets, both 5-6 on the year. Neither of these teams is what one would call 'playoff caliber' but yet here they are still mathematically alive for the 6th playoff spot in the AFC. The Dolphins have been unable to pull 2 wins together since they were 3-0 seemingly ages ago while the Jets have a great defense but absolutely putrid offensive play - especially from up-but-mostly-down rookie QB play. Can the Dolphins instill a bit of confidence and self-respect by beating the hated Jets? They'll need to to realistically keep their season alive.
2. Dolphins Inconsistent Offense vs Jets Top Defense
The Dolphins have been all over the place offensively this season. Sometimes they run the ball with ease and authority, sometimes they can throw the ball deep, sometimes Tannehill spreads the ball around but other times they give up sacks, miss big play opportunities and become too one-dimensional. The Jets defense is not a team to do any of those really stupid things against. The Jets' top 10 overall defense also features the league's #1 rushing defense so forget about seeing the Dolphins' run game get going in this, the 12th game of the season. Instead, the Dolphins must find a way to be more consistent in the passing game and Brian Hartline, in particular, could have a big day. MEEEEOOOOWWWW!
3. Mike Wallace vs Antonio Cromartie
Last week was sort of a breakout week for Mike Wallace and an important breakthrough in the Tannehill-Wallace chemistry argument. This week, Wallace is up against better competition in Antonio Cromartie and his 57,896,589,325 children. Wallace spoke on the matchup earlier in the week but it's unclear whether Cromartie will actually play due to a nagging hip injury that's been affecting him since 2008. Hopefully Cromartie will play and Wallace will get another chance to prove to us why Ireland dropped $60 million on production that basically amounts to a handful of touchdowns for the season.
4. Their QB is Shitty. Can We Capitalize on That?
Geno Smith has been extremely crappy lately , throwing 7 interceptions and as many touchdowns as your tio abuelo during the past 4 games. Can the Dolphins defense - which at times has shown some actual ball-hawking badassness - be aggressive against a young, shaky QB? Can they help the offense in the 2nd half of games by getting some turnovers and putting the offense in good position to score? Hopefully the defense will do this enough and yield a Mark Sanchez appearance. Then we can sit back, kick up our feet and let the buttfumbles peacefully and joyfully ease us into the Sunday evening.
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The Dolphins play the New York Stinkin' Shitty Jets on Sunday in New Jersey. Kickoff is at 1 p.m.