Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 11:42 a.m.
Oh, the folks on the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee are so quirky. They've set up a new toll-free number pretending to be Gov. Charlie Crist's scheduling office. Sure fooled us.
We called the number, 800-403-2195, and were put on hold while some seemingly nice lady told us she'd try to locate Crist for us. She didn't try that hard, though -- she was gone for only five seconds before informing us she couldn't find Crist. Well, lady, maybe you should look harder.
She then told us he's been gone from work for 62 days, and then mumbles, "I wish I could take off from work for two months without anyone noticing."
Listen, lady, we don't need to hear your personal problems; we're just trying to talk to our governor. She then told us to press 2 to schedule a private cruise with Charlie, press 3 to meet Charlie at a Miami Heat game, etc., etc.
We tried to explain we were a strapping 22-year-old lad and that we heard Charlie likes to take private meetings with young men in hotel rooms, but she wasn't listening. Instead, we decided on a Heat game.
Turns out Charlie likes to attend Heat games only with celebs, and unless we were Jimmy Fallon or Jennifer Aniston, we should probably just hang up.