Democrats got tea-bagged
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke reflects on last week's election results.
I have to congratulate the Tea Party. Its members came out in numbers and voted. This gave the Republicans a stunning and historic election victory. The Take America Back movement is a force to be reckoned with.
Now, all the African-Americans who stayed home have no right to complain when new governor and fraud veteran Rick Scott puts up armed security checkpoints and barbed-wire fences around every housing project in Florida. Welfare recipients can't moan when the state drug-tests them before issuing food stamps.
And to the Hispanics who voted for Florida's new governor: Don't get riled when cops pull you over and ask for your American birth certificate. Don't block the Palmetto Expressway when Scott takes away your abuelita's Medicaid benefits. You get what you voted for.
As for me, I look forward to seeing the direction our multimillionaire governor takes us.
I am less worried about Marco Rubio veering too far right. He can't support off-the-wall anti-immigration policies that won't play well in the exile community. He'll do his Tea Party-wonderboy thing when he visits North Florida, but he'll have to be more moderate if he wants to accomplish anything in the Senate, which is still controlled by the Democrats.
To this day, I cannot understand why Kendrick Meek gave up his safe congressional seat. I asked him why he thought he could win this race. He told me Republicans would split between Rubio and Crist. Instead, he spent $8.4 million to come in third.
To voters, Meek sounds like every other guy in office. People want to see a politician act like a rebel and go against the grain. They loved that Scott wouldn't meet with editorial boards. Regular folks adore a candidate who stands up to the biased mainstream media. There was no flair or fire to Meek's campaign.
But his loss was not entirely his fault. The Democratic Party cock-blocked him. Liberal leaders were like the ugly, rich dude who buys bottles at LIV nightclub for a bunch a girls who have no interest in sex with him. The Democrats are like fair-weather University of Miami fans who talk a lot of shit on local sports radio but never show up for any home games.
Meanwhile, the Tea Party is like the Gator Nation. Its members go to home games no matter the visiting team. And last week, the Tea Party showed up for the big game.
Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.