The Dolphins have their new offensive coordinator. 65-year-old Dan Henning has been hired by Bill Parcells to turn the Dolphins' 28th ranked offense around. Oh, he is so fucked.
Henning has been around for quite a while. He was even once hired by Don Shula in 1979. He was then fired by Don Shula in 1980.
Henning met with his best success as O-coordinator of the Carolina Panthers from 2002-2006. He was brought into Carolina under similar circumstances. The Panthers had just completed a one-win season and their offense was ranked at the bottom of the league. But just a year after being hired, the Panthers found themselves in Super Bowl XXXVIII. They eventually lost the big game to the Patriots by a mere 3 points.
Philosophy-wise, Henning prefers using a two tight ends set. Which means we're screwed because we don't even have one tight end. Not one who can catch a football, anyway. But Henning has also shown that he likes to go vertical and will use his speedsters, like Steve Smith, when he has one at his disposal. Here in the Magic City, he has a speedster in Ted Ginn. But Henning does also tend to run the ball a bit too much. Some say this was why he was eventually fired in Carolina. But the main thing is Henning seems to be open minded about what approach to take. He'll use the talent he has according to their means. He's old, but he doesn't come in with the typical old-NFL-guy mentality. The kind that stubbornly sticks to the "there's only one way to approach an offense, run it down their throats! Now get me a boiler maker and make it snappy, see!" philosophy.
Even better, during his time in Carolina, the Panthers' offense got progressively better with each season.
Of course, all this will mean absolutely nothing if Henning doesn't have the players to make shit happen. Here's what he's got to work with: a hobbled Ronnie Brown, a dismal offensive line, one quality receiver, questions at the QB spot, well.... you know the list. So unless Dan Henning is, in actuality, The Amazing Dan Henning and is some kind of magician or wizard, our offense will remain as sucky as it ever was.
Get us the players, Bill.
The Christmas Eve Curse Revisited
Just a reminder that we, Fins Nation, are the reason the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, thus preserving the Fins' Perfect Season. Sure, Eli threw the ball really good and Strahan did some outstanding sacking and Plaxico and Tyree had some awesome catches. But it was us, Nation. Right here, on Christmas Eve 2007, after the Pats beat the Fins to go 15-0 with one game left to play to finish the regular season 16-0, that we sealed their fate. Led by the likes of commenters like Gersom and Rojowill as well as a flurry of e-mails I received from a bunch of you, it was all set. The formula, simple. Pats go 16-0 and Karma will take a big wet bite out of their asses in the playoffs. Karma waited for the Super Bowl to take that bite which, of course, made it all the sweeter. Karma, she is a patient bitch. But a bitch nonetheless.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Just to make it all official, I wrote the following in this post on Christmas eve:
Also, as has been stated here by a couple of badass commenters, if the Pats do finish 16-0 this season, they will not go all the way. 16-0 will pretty much guarantee a loss in the playoffs. Ooga-booga, motherfuckers. Karma is real. Take it from us. We know.
Ooga booga motherfuckers indeed. Ooga. Booga.-- Chris Joseph
For more on sports from Chris Joseph visit Finsnation.com