Monday, May 18, 2009 at 9:15 a.m.
"You realize how hot it is in Miami, right?" I told the tall, blond european manager at Crazy Pianos
in the Grove .
"It is not proper." he replied. .
"But this is the Grove!" I said, baffled by his stern manner. " How long have you lived here?"
"Four weeks," he said, then turned to more properly dressed clientele. "Now you will know the rules."
I was wearing shorts. "Well you just wait, no one wears pants in the summer."
is part of a chain that began in the Netherlands. It's one of the newest additions to Cocowalk in Miami's own wannabe hippie wonderland, the Grove. It's in the space occupied for years by Cafe Tu Tu Tango. The four million dollar remodel has given the building quite a face lift.
With a breezy terrace, and reasonably priced drinks, it really is not that bad. There are cheesy paintings of pseudo celebrities that massacre the walls; and the fake trees make me feel like I'm drinking at Mickey Mouse's house. But dueling pianos and bad impressions of Franbk Sinatra are at center stage. Drink specials include 3 gallons of beer for $130, which anyone who has bought a keg knows is no deal at all.
So why he fashion police?
According to Jay, a manager I spoke to this morning, "We are trying to 'alienate' the people who don't dress properly." (I should note here they eventually let me in, but told me to come better dressed next time.) "Dress shorts are okay. I mean no athletic shorts. Same goes for the women."
By keeping out the people who are dressed down, Crazy Pianos is more likely to stay relaxed, because "when you dress casually you are more likely to be rambunctious."
"He concludes the conversation by telling me they want to keep out the sweaty people, because they will ruin the remodel.
Which is funny, because I thought drinking at a bar was what made me crazy and sweaty, but I guess it was actually my naked knees.