Couple Using PAM Cooking Spray as Lube Gets in Argument After Man Admits to Sleeping with Woman Named Pam
This is why you should just stick to using appropriate lubricants during sex, because no one has the name Astroglide or KY Jelly.
According to Off the Beat, the two were in the midst of bedroom fun time on May 30, when Barbara Hall asked her boyfriend to get the olive oil to use lubricant.
"When [the man] returned with the olive oil, Barbara asked if he had also brought the PAM cooking spray," states the police report. "Barbara believe [the man] misunderstood what she had said, and commented on a girl named Pam that he knows. [The man] admitted to have sex with Pam recently on her boat when he and Barbara were 'broke up,' which started an argument between them."
First of all, what the hell are you going to use PAM for in the bedroom? Were you out of Crisco? You're not supposed to be spraying that stuff all up on your no-no parts.
And, as for the dude, seriously, he just had to admit to sleeping with Pam right then and there with hardly any provocation? Woman do not care that it happened when you're on a break. Just ask Rachel from Friends.
So, after the PAM incident, Barbara decided to go H.A.M. She threw her drink at him. The two began wrestling, and striking each other. The man landed a blow to her ribs, and Barbara threw a flash light and the bottle of olive oil at the man's head.
She called 911, and when police arrived they decided to charge her with simple battery. She was later released.
Are you waiting for an extra virgin olive oil joke? Because it's not coming.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- The First Speaker of the House From Florida? Rep. Dan Webster Considered Dark Horse...
Thu., Oct. 15, 7:00pm
Thu., Oct. 15, 7:30pm
Sat., Oct. 17, 12:00am
Sat., Oct. 17, 10:00am
- Local Entrepreneurs Create New, College-Only Social Network
- ACLU at 50 Names Its Dozen Most Significant Cases for New Times