Miami-Dade Police are apparently here to serve and protect us from the sight of Enrique Iglesias's man bits flapping in the wind as he waters-skis in the buff. Yes, the crooning heartthrob promised to water-ski naked in Biscayne Bay if Spain won the World Cup, but local cops tell TMZ that any public nudity isn't going to happen on their watch.
"We enforce all laws here, regardless of what your status is in the Miami community," an unnamed Miami-Dade Police officer tells TMZ.
For his part, Iglesias doesn't want to make a public spectacle out of his au naturel watersport. He says he'll make good on the promise only at night, and not during a full moon.
If he is worried about public nudity charges, we re-offer our original suggestion of covering his junk with a replica of Paul the Octopus.
Or in keeping with Spanish pride, we suppose this is also an option: