Last night I came home from my job of sitting on the internet all day looking forward to a nice, long, relaxing night of sitting on the internet only to find that to my horror the internet wasn't working. Not only that by the teevee was down too. What kind of fuckery was this? So I called Comcast, the company that has the cable monopoly in the area, and provides many costumers with high speed internet service, who I have had on speed dial this week because of some other problems (worst. costumer service. ever.), and after some "press 1, press 2, say yes or no, sorry I didn't get that, for espanol reciet the mexican pledge of allegence, please enter your social security number, what are you wearing right now? oh that gets me so hot" type pre-recorded questions I got a message that their was a "service interruption" in a long list of cities that sounded like pretty much every one in Miami-Dade (as of this morning the list includes North Dade, South Dade, Metro Miami, NE Hialeah, West Hialeah and Hialeah Gardens). Damn it Comcast, SERVICE ME NOW.
anyway, here's the long rant I wrote last night:
What the fuck am I going to do? I mean for Charlie Crist's sake, I block Thursdays out for the television. The Office is on, and Kath & Kim (which I only watch because I sincerely hope it gets better --Love Molly Shannon) and the friggin' premier of 30 Rock (even though I had already watched the premier on Hulu, but the man on Fresh Air earlier told me to watch it for the ratings sake, even though I am pretty sure I am not tracked by Nielsen.) If only I had bunny ears.
G-o-o-o-o-olly. Then I twittered about how much this sucks. Then I am like" I am really bored, I should go out like a real Miami person. I haven't been out on a Thursday in so long. "Do those nice Revolver people and Poplife people still have that party at the District? What about Spider Pussy at Soho Lounge?" except then I just called my Mom, which I immediately regretted because she is like "So are you dating..." and I am like "omg shut up thx" and then we talked about voting and she's like "are you really voting for Obama?" and I am like "yes" and she's like "I heard even your Dad's voting for him." and I am like "yeah, that's what I heard" and she is like "well, what does he know? He's married to that woman" and I am like "ughhhhhh" and then I told her to watch Kath & Kim because it reminds me so much of her and my sister it is kind of scary and then I am like "but hurry it is starting now, so get off the phone. bye." Then I still had nothing to do so I read the last two months of New Times feature stories, and not just skim through them like I usually do unless they are about kinky sex stuff, I mean really read them, and had new found appreciation for my coworkers. Then I had absolutely nothing else to do so I read the SunPost ...haha that sounds like a dis, but you know. If I had any Heralds sitting around I probably would have read those too, but hah, who buys papers anymore? I only read that shit on line. Dead medium. Then suddenly I remembered I could still watch DVDs, so I watched the third disc of 30 ROCK I hadn't watched (because their was once a time where I didn't sit home on Thursday nights) and it reminded me of my best friend who moved to New York Cit-eeee to work in the teevee industry, she works for that one cable channel that used to be really hip in the 80's, but is kind of meh now. yeah, that one. Anyway you know how people are always like "gee my life is exactly like *insert popular fictional character*'s" and you nod politely and say "oh yeah" even though,you're like "you wish", but my friend really is Liz Lemon. She is so Liz Lemon,and I was going to IM her to tell her that but jeez the internet is still down, and I have nothing to do so I text someone else to see if they want to do something and they are like "oh no, I have homework." and I am just about dead and then I realize "gosh I can't even preplan what I am going to blog about in the morning" (which I hardly ever do, but I like to think that I do), so I realize "Well, a lot of people must be out of interenet so I will blog about that and they can relate" then I hope that the internet works again in the morning so a) I don't have to go to the office before noon and do my morning work from home like always b) the rest of the city has internet so they can read these blogs (because they so totally do, right?). And now here I am writing this entry, thinking to myself "am I really going to post this? For strangers to read?" but then I am like, fuck it, becuase knowing comcast the internet will still be down in the morning and no one will read it anyway except for the geniuses who have like Bell South DSL, like they even would have gotten this far if the internet wasn't down anyway.
And really, I should perform my journalistic duty of trying to figure out when their service is coming back on, but, if you've ever called that stupid 1-800-Comcast line for service, they are the hardest company in the world to get someone on the actual phone with.
SO WHAT DID YOU DO DURING THE GREAT COMCAST OUTAGE OF 2008?
