Chicago Bulls Have A Hollering Advantage Over the Miami Heat

​Which team will win the Eastern Conference Finals won't come down to how great the Miami Heat's big three perform or how wonderfully efficient the Chicago Bulls' bench mob execute their tenacious defensive and rebounding skills. No this contest is going to come down to which team has the most operatic hollerer. Forget Eddie House pretending his nuts hang low like Donkey Kong's or Dallas Maverick Jason Terry's annoying "I'm soaring like an aeroplane" move. When it comes to extremely unnecessary show boating, nothing comes close to the NBA's perennial screamers.

We'd like to know when dunking a basketball became the equivalent of standing guard at the gates of Thermopylae against one million of Xerxes Persian soldiers? Yet the louder a player yells, the more likely his team is to show more hustle and moxie. If that is the case, then we're sorry Heat fans, but it doesn't look good. Miami has only one player worthy enough of being part of the NBA's screaming starting five, while Chicago has three:

Chicago Bulls Have A Hollering Advantage Over the Miami Heat

1. Chris Bosh, AKA the Bostich, is the only Heat player who knows how to give us a great O-Face.

2. Taj Gibson, AKA Baraka from Mortal Kombat. When this dude dunked all over Heat Guard Dwayne Wade in Game 1, we were waiting for the scoreboard at the United Center to flash "FINISH HIM!"


3. Kevin Garnett, AKA "Mr. Anything Is Possible!!!" KG perfected the "Let-Me-Yell-At-The-Top-Of-My-Lungs" move during the C's championship run in 2008.

4. Joakim Noah, AKA Jo-Scream. Every time this former Gator shows off his chompers, you can't help but wonder if he's trying to push a log through his game shorts.

​5. Carlos Boozer, AKA "Mike K's Wanksta." The former Duke Blue Devil is the most annoying of the NBA yellers because he so fake at it. Seriously Booz, no matter how hard you try to be, you just ain't homie.

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