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Celtics Coach Literally Brainwashing Team Into Hating the Miami Heat

Smarting from yet another season ending playoff defeat to the Miami Heat, Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers has unveiled his main focus for the offseason: installing pure hate for the Miami Heat deep inside the heart of every single member of the Celtics team.

Uh, yeah, brainwashing your underlinings into blindly hating the opponents is always a sound organizational tactic.


"My honest thought as a coach right now ... I have my eye squarely on Miami. I come up to my players during the year -- they're in the facility now -- I bring up Miami every single day to them," Rivers told the media today. "I want them to hate them. I want them to beat them. That's got to be our focus."

Hate? Is that really the way to win a championship?

If Rivers would have done his research, you know, he might just realize that all the hate in the world can't stop the Miami Heat. No, literally, all the hate in the world was bottled up and unleashed against them in the past two years, and somehow LeBron and company still managed to win a championship.

This team is immune to your hatred, and we question whether over-focusing on your "hate" for an opponent, as opposed to, you know, more sportsmanship minded goals, is really the best way to actually beat them.

As noted philosopher Yoda once explained, hate steams from anger, and anger stems from fear, and all of this eventually leads to a path to the dark side and great suffering.



So, clearly the Celtics already fear the Heat. Perhaps Rivers should be preaching a gospel of not being afraid of the Heat instead of encouraging his team to straight up hate them. Trust Yoda.


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