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Caylee Anthony Not Only Murder Victim Ever

Welp, turns out she didn't do it.


Or, at least she won't be going to jail for it -- Orlando's Casey Anthony was acquitted of the murder of her 2-year-old daughter yesterday, and, depending on how the legal wranglings go, will probably get to go home before the weekend, which should be a bucket of fun now that her entire country has spent years convincing itself that she's guilty of the exact crime she was just acquitted of by a jury who didn't even have to think very hard.

Oh no, Caylee Anthony doesn't have justice! Neither do a lot of victims. It's time to get a grip.

Caylee Anthony's death is a tragedy, yes, but she is not special. Caylee was one of 14,299 U.S. murder victims in 2008. 569 of those victims were younger than 5 years old. Nobody's screaming and yelling on cable television for them, nobody's outraged over those crimes not being solved.

We, for no legitimate reason, latched onto one murder case for three years, and now we're mad nobody's getting fried for it. At least O.J. got a Heisman before his acquittal. How do we explain this one to our kids?

"The evidence didn't support it, but Nancy Grace did, and that was sure good enough for me..."
"But but but..."
"But but but..."

EDIT, 4:03 p.m.: The original story omitted a link to the Census Bureau report on 2008 murders. It has been fixed.

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