Castro: Ruling Cuba With an Electric Worm
Isn't everyone getting sick of reading about every fucking phone call and gift-giving session that takes place between Castro and Chavez? Last time I checked, picking up a phone is not a sign of stable health.
If Fidel really wants to strike fear into the hearts of the American Military Industrial complex, he should put on that Adidas jumpsuit and do a helicopter spin. Or maybe he should get Evo and Hugo over to his place, give them matching jumpsuits, and then break into a leftist rendition of the Electric Slide. How confidence-inspiring would that be?
The American market would come crashing to its knees. China would stop its silly slide towards democracy and start a whole new Cultural Revolution... most likely a Dance, Dance revolution.
Consider this a tip, Castro: drag a few pieces of cardboard into the Presidential basement, break out your old VHS tapes, and get crackin. Let's try and get some real news in the paper, okay? --Calvin Godfrey
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.
- Court Rules Michael Pizzi Should Be Reinstated as Mayor of Miami Lakes
- 305 Is One of the Most In-Demand Area Codes in the Country
- DJ Laz Won't Face Criminal Charges Over Deadly Nixon Sandbar Boat Accident