If you're driving a stolen vehicle and are "not trying to go to jail," it's best to keep a low profile. You shouldn't do anything to draw attention yourself. You certainly shouldn't pull over and drop a number two on the side of one of Florida's busiest highways. Basically, don't be Mellisa Mansfield.
According to Will Greenlee's Off the Beat blog, a Florida Highway Patrol officer spotted a car pulled over along the northbound lanes of Interstate 95 in Port St. Lucie County on April 7. The trooper decided to investigate, only to find a woman, Mansfield, squatting by the car.
According to the report:
As I approached the vehicle I clearly observed a white female squatting on the passenger side of the vehicle with her pants down below her knees defecating with moderate traffic flowing. She had no expectation of privacy due to the fact she did [not] open the rear passenger door to shield herself from the view of oncoming traffics. I asked her what she was doing and she stated, "I am going to the bathroom."
Mansfield, who says she was traveling from the Keys to her home in Georgia, provided her name after a bit of thought but could not produce a driver's license. She said the car belonged to her boyfriend, but the trooper ran the tag and discovered the vehicle had been reported stolen in Key West.
A dispatcher contacted the owner. He had no idea who Mansfield was and said the car had disappeared from outside his residence.
Mansfield protested, "I'm not trying to go to jail tonight." However, she ended up being arrested and charged with indecent exposure, vehicle theft, and operating a motor vehicle without a valid license.
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The trooper also found in the passenger seat several empty beer bottles that were cold to the touch. The arrest report indicates drugs might have also been involved. However, Mansfield was not charged with DUI.
The irony of it all is that, as Greenlee points out, Mansfield should have waited just a few minutes before doing her business. She was only six miles south of a rest stop with bathrooms.