If the 2017 Miami Dolphins football team were a farm animal, it would be led out to pasture and excused from any kind of actual work. No one would disagree with the decision to gently retire it. The poor guy is clearly too injured and useless to help any longer.
Monday night, the Dolphins' withered exoskeleton dropped to 4-5 after an emasculating 45-21 loss to the Carolina Panthers. That sort of beatdown should be shocking or embarrassing, but those two emotions would require both not expecting the Dolphins to play terribly and feeling anything but apathy toward the team.
The Fins stink as sure as the sun came up today. We're used to it. America got an up-close and personal look at their ineptitude these past three weeks. Sorry about that!
It's not just Dolphins fans who have no respect for the team anymore. Other teams are literally laughing in Miami's face. Panthers quarterback Cam Newton toyed with the Fins' defense all night, peaking with a 69-yard run in the third quarter that ended with him shimmying on the ground in joy.
/saves for a christmas morning tweet pic.twitter.com/MJhUyOKnIt— nick (@nick_pants) November 14, 2017
Earlier in the game, Newton was having just as much fun, at one point literally laughing at Dolphins defenders who were chasing him before he strolled out-of-bounds. Once he was done, he took his pretty time getting back to the huddle while the Panthers played "The Superman Theme."
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Cam Newton laughing it off on the run... “ahhhhhhh!” pic.twitter.com/ILGKwAD4et— Panthers Source (@PanthersSource) November 14, 2017
Panthers play Superman theme song after Cam Newton's power run! https://t.co/2q8nGzu6pM— Sports Outlet (@1SportsOutlet) November 14, 2017
We, too, would laugh if we weren't too busy crying.
The Dolphins, inexplicably, are still only a game out of the final playoff spot in the AFC. If you're a Dolphins fan, this is information you need to get you through the day. That is, unless you're sick of watching the Dolphins play awful football; then the possibility of an additional Dolphins game taking place in January might not exactly cheer you up right now.