Buh Bye Bush, Thanks For... Um, Nevermind
For weeks now, I've been toying with the idea of posting all of the achievements of George W. Bush on his last full day in office. Of course this was going to be satirical in nature. Noting things like how we haven't had a terrorist attack on our soil since 2001, despite the fact experts like Bob Graham say the War in Iraq has left Al-Qaeda stronger than ever (and if you trust Bush more than you do Graham, then seriously you don't deserve to be a Floridian). And how the standard Republican response to public schools before Bush was to eliminate the Department of Education, even though Bush's answer was some ridiculous system of standardizing testing and school vouchers. Or how, unlike Patron Saint of the Republican Party who saw the rise of HIV during his tenure and didn't do a God Damn thing about it, Bush did, even if his answer was to further line the pockets of pharmaceutical corporations. Or how he managed to keep it in his pants unlike Clinton, oh, and his father.
The whole thing, in my head at least, was going to be a sort of funny, slightly "Underminer"-ish in tone, and hopefully a little less painful to read than all those other earnest "So Long Bush" posts floating around the blogosphere today. I didn't want to seem like the overly bitter liberal, rehashing complaints we've all heard for years now (and according to polls, most of us agree with), but the weather is shitty out, I couldn't sleep at all last night, and the mood in the office on this holiday is a little grim, so I can't really bring my self to bring any sort of praise upon this simple little man, no matter how two faced. So fuck it.
I don't feel like blogging anything overlong and tortured either, I'm
just happy to be done with this weird little chapter in our national
history. We've got a lot of work to do to repair all that was broken in
the last eight years, directly Bush-related or not, so tonight, I'm
taking a page from the anger management playbook: I'll be alternately
screaming into my pillow and punching it, curling up in a shivering
little ball, perhaps burning Cheney in effigy, and getting all of this
lame rage caused by the myriad of disappointments over and done with.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.