LeBron James came out of the All-Star break dropping bombs on your moms, assists on your sis, and dunks on your uncs on his way to a season high 42 points in the Heat's 117-106 win over the Mavs. LeBron added nine rebounds and six assists to the 50th 40-plus game of his career. After the game he offered Mark Cuban 100 percent of these balls for 0 percent of his company. Cuban graciously declined. He was out.
Besides LeBron going full LeBron, the story of the game was Birdman putting it in Mark Cuban, then courting the females of Dallas. Birdman went 7-9 from the field on his way to 18 points, the last three of which came on a three point shot that was just too much for Cube's face to take. Then came some magic in the stands.
When your mom said you can't go out to play pic.twitter.com/HYw7z4CzpY
— RU Chill (@LSilentN) February 19, 2014
Holy shiiiit. RT @alejandro_608: @mcuban pic.twitter.com/Ki2kPFrQQm
— Krishna Roxas (@krishbee) February 19, 2014
When she tells you you're the father. pic.twitter.com/CJe6QXdLii
— ( AβS © ) (@abs_da_don) February 19, 2014
"i went thru your browser history"
— Faptain Planet (@DirtyFrenchman) February 19, 2014
When you see the Pub Sub line is 10 deep. pic.twitter.com/MxHUtyMzgw
— Rizz (@Rizzmigizz) February 19, 2014
@HeatBoner when watching XXX on the phone, and the WiFi gets disrupted pic.twitter.com/ieXNRIos4b
— Daniel Adrian Radice (@MiaSportsAddict) February 19, 2014
Look at that puss
— Jonathan Zaslow (@ZaslowShow) February 19, 2014
After Birdman was done embarrassing the Mavs, he was offered a female's phone number, which he accepted. Pimpin' is easy.
Omg RT @AKuperstein: Pretty sure Birdman just got some girl's number after the game #Heat pic.twitter.com/rQlAq0V5uc
— Aimee Greaux (@HelloAimeee) February 19, 2014
LeBron had it going from the start, scoring 13 in a first quarter that, among other things, featured another Wade to LeBron half court oop.
Dwyane Wade's Long Oop to LeBron James! | Heat vs Mavericks | February 18, 2014 | NBA 2013-14 Season: http://t.co/SufsTiZfX0 via
— NBA ASSASSIN TV (@NBARumorsGossip) February 19, 2014
So unoriginal these guys, I mean, it's boring with this already. Why don't you two go write Hangover 4 while you're beating to death old material? Geesh.
The win is the Heat's sixth in a row against Dallas, which makes 2011 piss you off even more. Hate you forever, 2011, haychu so much.
Next up for your Miami basketball Heat is a trip to Oklahoma City to take on Kevin "THE SERVANT" Durant and the Thunder. Ewwwwwwwww, scarrrrrrrry, he's gonna beat you with his terrific and prompt service! Worst nickname ever.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
