Are You Smarter Than a Miami Dolphin?
This Sunday, our Dolphins flew across the pond to play the New York Giants at London’s Wembley Stadium. And while in England, they did the obvious -- they lost. But for once, the teams’ 0-8 record wasn’t what the guys over at ESPN were all abuzz about. Last Wednesday at his Dolphin Stadium locker stall, surrounded by reporters, linebacker Channing Crowder made even the “dumb jock” detractors cringe when he let a few choice pearls of wisdom fall from his mouth.
He said: “I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that.”
“I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”
And when asked about teammate, Marvin Allen, a UK expat, Crowder added:
“He’s from London? I knew he was from over there because he talks funny. I was surprised (when they met) because — I don’t want to say he didn’t look the part because that’s a stereotype — but he didn’t look the part. I heard him talk, and I thought he had a recorder and was just mouthing."
Once Crowder’s comments hit the internet, he had everybody wondering if it was a joke or if one of the team's star players really didn’t realize that they spoke English in England. His supporters said that the 23-year old Georgia native is known for being a gregarious guy, and his haters took gratuitous jabs at his University of Florida education. But after the Dolphins’ 13-0 loss to the Giants, Crowder must have been in a less playful mood, because he fessed up and admitted to British press that his comments were a joke, declared that he does “know where everything is,” and said that he actually earned a 1280 on his SAT.
Well, it was fun while it lasted. Given the Dolphins’ 0-8 record, it was nice to have something else to laugh at. --Raina McLeod
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.