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  • Article

    Program Notes 20

    Sometimes I wonder if I could write one of these columns without ever mentioning music. Like my idol, Robert Steinback of the Miami Herald, just ideas, thoughts, mammals replacing insects, insects replacing thoughts back to ideas. Am I starting to re...

    by Greg Baker on September 1, 1993
  • Article

    Swelter 20

    The dog days of the killing season, tempers fraying, minds unraveling, the dark reaches of the collective unconsciousness bubbling up to the surface like an evil cancer, a plague upon the hot bottom of the Earth. Lost and dispirited in the seventh ci...

    by Tom Austin on September 1, 1993
  • Article

    Last Writes - Some suicide notes are short, some tell a more detailed story. They all have unhappy endings.

    On May 25, two weeks shy of his 80th birthday, Robert S. decided it was his day to die. He had read Final Exit, the treatise on suicide and how-to guide for the terminally ill, and he had determined that killing himself was the best solution to his f...

    by Jim DeFede on August 25, 1993
  • Article

    Lee Press-Ons -- Eat Your Heart Out! - Clerk Gemma Stafford puts the "cute" in cuticle

    At first people just stare. Then come the whispers. Then, invariably, they ask Gemma Stafford the question: "Are those real?" What they mean is: "Could those huge, curved monstrosities truly be your own?" If Stafford hears it once a day, she hea...

    by Steven Almond on August 25, 1993
  • Article

    Niki-ed in tha Bud - They formed a band and chose a name. Her name.

    Superstar model Niki Taylor is a Miami native with a discreet beauty mark a centimeter above her upper lip, a body of perfection, and a fondness for rock and roll. Her favorite band: Van Halen. It's surprising and remarkable she'd choose that veteran...

    by Greg Baker on August 25, 1993
  • Article

    Swelter 19

    Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving, the fortunate and feckless alike craving something beyond their fair share of the available resource pool. The rich demanding discounts and getting richer, the disenfranchised sliding down the tote...

    by Tom Austin on August 25, 1993
  • Article

    Dave's World: We Are Not Making This Up

    Last week's issue of New Times was very popular. We got lots of phone calls. Readers picked up papers so quickly that by Thursday most of them were gone. Staffers from all departments reported an extraordinary amount of comment among friends and acqu...

    by Jim Mullin on August 25, 1993
  • Article

    Program Notes 19

    I think, so. So? I won't bother you with it. This week's just like one big shout out. I'm running low on energy, passion, and adjectives. Jeff Fritz has left Drive Choir. As you may know, all local bands break up as soon as New Times writes abou...

    by Greg Baker on August 25, 1993
  • Article

    Life in the Cast Lane - What kind of world do we live in when a man has to sneak around like a common criminal just to get in an afternoon of expressway fishing?

    The way they've done South Florida, a guy like Andy Anderson learns to take his communions with nature where he can find them, even if it means spidering his pickup truck down a steep, grassy knoll at a treacherous angle, or breaching barbed wire bar...

    by Greg Baker on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    The Letter

    March 16, 1993 Ellen Kaden Corporate General Counsel CBS Entertainment Group 51 West 52nd Street New York, NY 10019 Dear Ellen: I enjoyed our phone chat a couple of weeks back. As I promised, I have consulted with Knight-...

    on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    The Script

    DAVE'S WORLD "Coach Dave" (Pilot) ACT ONE IN BLACKNESS: SFX: BILLY JOEL'S "YOU MAY BE RIGHT" FADE IN: CARTOON SEQUENCE (STOCK) OF DAVE BARRY CHARACTER WALKING ON SIDEWALK, AVOIDING CRACKS. FADE IN TITLE: "WELCO...

    on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    The Memo

    Feb. 22 To: Jamie, Jonathan From: Fred Re: Dave's World/Miami trip Just back from Miami and wanted to write these notes while I'm still fresh on it, so bear with me. Kind of a bizarre trip -- but nothing life-threatening. To answ...

    on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    The Secret Script

    Dave Barry has a network TV show. So what? That's what we thought, until we received a mysterious package. "I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS." That's how the typewritten note began. The note, in turn, came clipped to a bundle of papers we re...

    on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    If We Could Talk to the Animals... - "Wheet! Wheet!" would mean "Get out of my way, you stupid possum!" Or so the Hollywood mmission thinks.

    If you listen carefully as you lie in bed tonight, and if the wind is blowing just right, you may be able to hear an extraordinary chorus of animal noises drifting in from south Broward County. Not the usual nocturnal screeching and caterwauling of t...

    by Kirk Semple on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    Beyond the Call of Duty - What do you call it when an off-duty police officer yanks an unsuspecting motorist from her vehicle? Real life.

    Georgina Otero Lee drives a big green van for a living. She transports handicapped people around Dade County. Lately Lee has been driving with a suspended drivers license and is due to appear in court this Thursday on a careless-driving charge. Just ...

    by Kathy Glasgow on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    Male Order - Bruce Wheatley is a man. Bruce Wheatley is a nurse. Bruce Wheatley can't find work as an ob-gyn nurse.

    Does the pantheon of civil rights pioneers have room for an earnest, pasty-faced nurse who wants to work hard and save lives? Will MLK, the Woman Suffragettes, and the Stonewall combatants slide over a little and let Bruce Wheatley in? Two years...

    by Kirk Semple on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    1 Herald Plaza

    In our continuing efforts to provide readers with stories they're not likely to find in other local media, we introduce this new feature, devoted exclusively to the affairs of the Miami Herald and its corporate parent, Knight-Ridder, Inc. (KRI). The ...

    on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    Program Notes 18

    Hey, yo, can you hear me? Is this thing on? All love. All gone. Did you listen to me and go see Charlie Pickett and 3 (I've renamed the band, thank you) at Stephen Talkhouse? Hope you got there early. The night before at Churchill's Hideaway some...

    by Greg Baker on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    Swelter 18

    Step right up and check it out, junk culture a go go, the side show that never ends. Girls in various stages of undress and whoredom, freaks up close and personal, mutant beings/club personalities way past the sloppy trappings of love, demanding only...

    by Tom Austin on August 18, 1993
  • Article

    Jail Bait - Getting sprung from the slammer has never been easier, and the life of a Miami bail bondsman has never been tougher

    About a dozen Metro-Dade Department of Corrections officers, most in their uniforms of forest green pants and light green shirts, were bunched together in the small waiting area outside the courtroom on the eighth floor of the Dade County Courthouse....

    by Kathy Glasgow on August 11, 1993
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Miami Concert Tickets

From the Print Edition

Two Long-Lost Maps Spark a Quest to Find Forgotten Pyramids in the Florida Swamps Two Long-Lost Maps Spark a Quest to Find Forgotten Pyramids in the Florida Swamps

The maps and letters fell out of an aging file folder in a dark corner of a room called the "Curious Vault" at the Patricia and Philip Frost Museum of… More >>

Local Police Departments Stock Military Weapons

Recent events in Ferguson, Missouri, have raised questions about the militarization of American police departments. When angry protesters demanded justice, Ferguson cops in riot gear fired tear gas and stun… More >>

UM Football Team Will Win if Shalala Backs Off

On Labor Day, the University of Miami Hurricanes will begin their season with a game against the Louisville Cardinals, the team that kicked the snot out of them in the… More >>

Mom of Unarmed Miami Man Killed by Police Says Ferguson Issues Remain in South Florida

As Ferguson, Missouri, has descended into a nightmarish vision of a dystopian police state, few have watched the growing clashes between protesters and authorities with a perspective quite like Sheila… More >>

Six Signs You're an Old-School Dolphins' Fan

Outsiders love to poke fun at Miami Marlins crowds and Miami Heat fans who arrive late, but few dare question Miami Dolphins devotees' loyalty. Dolphins fans are exempt from that… More >>

Reader Mail: Stitches' 15 Minutes Are Up

Will the Real Stitches Please Stand Up? Kendall isn't tough: Just as I assumed, your story on the questions about "coke-dealing" gangster rapper Stitches ("Unmasking Stitches," Francisco Alvarado and Allie Conti,… More >>

Dorothy Bendross-Mindingall for President

With the primary election set for August 26, there's a local politician who doesn't have to worry being voted out office. In June, Dorothy Bendross-Mindingall was one of two Miami-Dade… More >>

Inside Miami's New Science Museum and Its Eye-Popping, Shark-Filled Aquarium

From high above Biscayne Boulevard, Frank Steslow peers down into what looks like the world's largest punch bowl. Grown men crawl like insects inside the massive martini-glass-shaped structure. Rebar pokes… More >>

The Seven Types of Miami Dolphins Fan

The Miami Dolphins are well into their preseason, with their last two tune-up games against the Cowboys and Rams looming. As new faces and fresh hopes start the year, one… More >>

Reader Mail: No More Off-Duty Jobs for Cops

Confederate Kidnapping The kid was in danger: There are obvious questions for the family court based on your reporting of how a mom living in a home full of weapons and… More >>

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