Amar'e Stoudemire Promises to Riddle LeBron's Body With Bullets in Bizarre Human Hunting Escapade
Amar'e Stoudemire has privately announced his intentions to hunt and kill LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, according to reports. The full details of the bloodlustful New York Knicks forward's murderous plans are not yet known, but Stoudemire has told teammates that he has already assembled a cache of firearms with which he hopes to shoot at the Miami Heat stars.
The New York Post reports that after the Knicks' preseason game against the New Jersey Nets, rookie Josh Harrellson innocently inquired about a hunting trip, perhaps for team bonding purposes.
"We're going to hunt in South Florida," replied Stoudemire, a supposed man of faith. "You know what we're going to hunt down there, right?"
Alien snakes? Abandoned Everglades dogs? MILFs?
No, a perhaps sociopathic Stoudemire had a more dangerous game in mind.
"We're going to hunt LeBron and D-Wade," Stoudemire clarified. "I got the rifle, man."
Amazingly, the New York Police Department has not yet arrested Stoudemire after reports of his murderous plans surfaced.
Granted, after watching the New York Knicks' pathetic first-round playoff exit at the hands of the Boston Celtics, it's likely the NYPD is doubtful that Stoudemire is capable of making good on his threats.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.
- Court Rules Michael Pizzi Should Be Reinstated as Mayor of Miami Lakes
Tue., April 28, 6:35 p.m.
Thu., April 30, 6:35 p.m.
Fri., May 1, 6 p.m.
Fri., May 1, 6:35 p.m.
- 305 Is One of the Most In-Demand Area Codes in the Country
- DJ Laz Won't Face Criminal Charges Over Deadly Nixon Sandbar Boat Accident