Allen West could soon become the first sitting U.S. congressman with ties to a white racist biker gang (well, at least since Sen. Dirtbeard Jones [R-Penn] back in '46). It's all the more remarkable considering that West -- who's four points ahead of Rep. Ron Klein in his Broward and Palm Beach district -- is black.
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Democrats have hammered the retired Army lieutenant colonel for hanging with the Outlaws -- a motorcycle club notorious for running meth rings -- and for writing columns for Wheels on the Road, a racy biker mag run by a tough named Miami Mike.
Allen begs to differ, but why is he running from his biker bros? Voters love them! And frankly, these guys are just the kind of change America needs. So to help West prepare for his transition to D.C., we've filled his new cabinet with fellow columnists from Wheels on the Road.
Minority and Women's Issues: Willy Woo. The gray-bearded rider has a sweet white boa constrictor around his neck in his columnist profile. He'll crush these thorny PC problems like a ravenous snake.