Dear ladies of Metro Miami-Dade, please be aware that your aunt's favorite problematic jazz singer Michael Bublé is currently in the area and may very well be posting creep shots of you on social media while body shaming you in the process. Bublé has already e-victimized one woman, and while he's apologized for it, one cannot be 100 percent sure that he won't reoffend. The singer apparently seems to be quite taken with local fashion traditions that emphasize the rear end and cannot seem to properly and maturely handle himself around such styles.
Bublé arrived in Miami for a family vacation with his wife and young son on Monday and announced the first day of the trip on his Instagram. Though, instead of posting photos of our beautiful beaches, eclectic cuisine, or unique local architecture, Bublé's Instagram account laid dormant for two days until he wound up in what appears to be a local Urban Outfitters.
There Bublé spotted a woman wearing shorts that exposed a bit of the underside of buttocks. This is not a particularly uncommon style in Miami-Dade, but the singer decided to have his wife take a photo of himself with the woman in the background.
"There was something about this photo lu [his wife] took ,that seemed worthy of instagram," he captioned the photo along with the hashtags #myhumps #babygotback #hungryshorts #onlyinmiami #picoftheday and #beautifulbum.
Internet commenters, however, soon began to take Bublé to task for the photo.
Ugh. Someone tell Michael Buble bodies of innocent bystanders are not there for his public enjoyment and shaming https://t.co/HUmL7Foofa— second nature (@second_nature) April 17, 2015
Of course, some social media users were not able to quite comprehend the controversy.
Lmao Michael Buble saying a chick has a nice ass is now body shaming? The meaning of words needs to quit changing Cuz I can't keep up— Adam Up (@areegs3) April 17, 2015
Some have even suggested that the woman should not have worn the shorts out in public if she did not want to end up on the Instagram of a world famous singer with over 1 million followers.
Of course, if some people feel that it is the woman's fault for wearing the shorts in public in the first place, then no one can blame us for warning local women to be alert and stay away from Bublé as long as he is visiting our community.
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So if you are a woman who would like to wear whatever she wants in public without being blasted on the social media feed of a millionaire entertainer, we advise that you be on the lookout for Bublé and stay away. He's described as a gringo, with an average build, brown hair, and stands about 5'10". Keep an eye on his social media feeds until you can be sure he has left the area.
Bublé, for his part, did apologize for offending anyone in an Instagram post, though without personally apologizing to the woman.
"Anybody who knows me would never misinterpret the message of the photo my wife took in Miami that seems to have caused unexpected rage by some people," wrote Bublé on Facebook. "I do not court controversy. But I realize that a photo that was meant to be complimentary and lighthearted has turned into a questionable issue. For the record, It hurts me deeply that anyone would think that I would disrespect women or be insulting to any human being. I was not brought up that way and it is not in my character. I regret that there are people out there who found the photo offensive. That was not and is not my intention. Women are to be celebrated, loved, respected, honored and revered. I’ve spent my life believing that and will continue to do so."
Of course, most Miami locals do not know Bublé and can never be sure of his intentions. The best bet is to steer your booty away.