Dearest Miami Heat: Why, oh why, do you hate Miami New Times so very much?
You aren't still pissed that we called your owner, Micky Arison, a "greedy corporate pig," are you? Are your feelings still hurt because we superimposed his face on a gigantic swine for the cover? Perhaps you're still smarting over "Dwyane's Disaster," our recent feature about Wade's questionable business partnerships?
Whatever it is, we have clearly reached a new nadir in our relationship. Because yesterday, we got shot down on a request to interview Banana Man.
That's right. The Heat apparently decided we could not be trusted to conduct an email exchange with a man who wears a banana costume to basketball games.
A little background might be in order. If you've ever been to a Heat game, you probably know Banana Man. He's self-explanatory, really: The fellow wears dark sunglasses and a silly banana suit and jumps around. It's fun!
Well, Banana Man was so excited about the acquisition of LeBron James and Chris Bosh that he put together a video that's gotten some attention. It's pretty funny, really. He prances around Miami with cutouts of the Big Three, all to the sweet sounds of Hall & Oates' "You Make My Dreams."
We thought we'd do a quick email interview with Banana Man about the video and the upcoming season and pad the blog with it. He seemed like a nice guy -- until the Heat got wind of our nefarious plans. Here's our email exchange:
Dear Bananaman --
I quite enjoyed your new video with the Big Three -- how about an interview about the video for our blog at Miami New Times? Shoot me a note back here if you're interested,
Hearing any feedback on the video is always great. I appreciate that you enjoyed the video. I would be very interested on doing a piece with you guys. Since I don't talk because of my character, I hope this could be a written piece. Send over any questions you have and I will answer them as soon as possible. Thanks again for the interest! Talk soon.
So far, so good, right? A Banana Man scoop seemed to be in the works. We could already see the journalism prizes headed our way. We sent the Banana Man a few questions. Then came this reply yesterday afternoon:
Thanks for sending over the questions. Unfortunately, I was unable to get clearance to do the interview. I had to run everything by and was not cleared. Maybe some other time but I truly appreciate the interest. Let's stay in contact! I'm sorry again, I was looking forward to work with you, perhaps it could happen in the future.
All the best,
- Banana Man
Et tu, Banana Man? Who exactly put the clamps down on this sure-to-be controversial email interview?
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We asked, but Banana Man has so far been silent on the iron-fisted propaganda machine that killed our budding friendship.
That's OK. We don't hold a grudge. Micky Arison is still a greedy corporate pig. But that doesn't mean we can't be amigos.
Cue the Hall & Oates! Let's enjoy the video together: