Dearest Miami Heat: Why, oh why, do you hate Miami New Times so very much?
You aren't still pissed that we called your owner, Micky Arison, a "greedy corporate pig," are you? Are your feelings still hurt because we superimposed his face on a gigantic swine for the cover? Perhaps you're still smarting over "Dwyane's Disaster," our recent feature about Wade's questionable business partnerships?
Whatever it is, we have clearly reached a new nadir in our relationship. Because yesterday, we got shot down on a request to interview Banana Man.
That's right. The Heat apparently decided we could not be trusted to conduct an email exchange with a man who wears a banana costume to basketball games.
A little background might be in order. If you've ever been to a Heat game, you probably know Banana Man. He's self-explanatory, really: The fellow wears dark sunglasses and a silly banana suit and jumps around. It's fun!
Well, Banana Man was so excited about the acquisition of LeBron James and Chris Bosh that he put together a video that's gotten some attention. It's pretty funny, really. He prances around Miami with cutouts of the Big Three, all to the sweet sounds of Hall & Oates' "You Make My Dreams."
We thought we'd do a quick email interview with Banana Man about the video and the upcoming season and pad the blog with it. He seemed like a nice guy -- until the Heat got wind of our nefarious plans. Here's our email exchange:
Dear Bananaman --
I quite enjoyed your new video with the Big Three -- how about an interview about the video for our blog at Miami New Times? Shoot me a note back here if you're interested,
Hearing any feedback on the video is always great. I appreciate that you enjoyed the video. I would be very interested on doing a piece with you guys. Since I don't talk because of my character, I hope this could be a written piece. Send over any questions you have and I will answer them as soon as possible. Thanks again for the interest! Talk soon.
So far, so good, right? A Banana Man scoop seemed to be in the works. We could already see the journalism prizes headed our way. We sent the Banana Man a few questions. Then came this reply yesterday afternoon:
Thanks for sending over the questions. Unfortunately, I was unable to get clearance to do the interview. I had to run everything by and was not cleared. Maybe some other time but I truly appreciate the interest. Let's stay in contact! I'm sorry again, I was looking forward to work with you, perhaps it could happen in the future.
All the best,
- Banana Man
Et tu, Banana Man? Who exactly put the clamps down on this sure-to-be controversial email interview?
We asked, but Banana Man has so far been silent on the iron-fisted propaganda machine that killed our budding friendship.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
That's OK. We don't hold a grudge. Micky Arison is still a greedy corporate pig. But that doesn't mean we can't be amigos.
Cue the Hall & Oates! Let's enjoy the video together: