Somewhere -- possibly in the busy terminals of Miami International Airport, the back seat of a cab, or anywhere else in the county -- sits a lonely stuffed pink monkey named Oscar.
Oscar, who also goes by the name "Osk," belongs to burgeoning rap superstar Nicki Minaj (who we recently called the next great hope of Cash Money records). Minaj is offering a $50,000 reward for the safe return of the plush primate, last seen publicly outside David Letterman's studios.
Dear Barbz, have u seen Oscar? U know... pink monkey I had wen I did Letterman...? He's gone! Plz help! All Points Bulletin: Where's Oscar?!!
Then she offered some young money.
$50,000 reward for Oscar. I call him Osk for short! He was last seen on a Miami bound plane from New York. Plz help! Luv, HB
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Now, if you're wondering, Who in hell is Nicki Minaj? Why do I care about her furry monkey? And how does she have $50 grand to put up as a reward? Don't worry, you're only a little bit behind culture.
It's not like she's been called "the Cindy Sherman of rap" by, of all places, the New York Times. Oh wait, she totally has! She's also the only lady member who raps of Lil Wayne's Young Money crew, plus she has featured verses on current and upcoming singles by Mariah Carey, Ludacris, Usher, Robin Thicke, and Trina. Which is just about the most impressive roster of A-list contributors for a previously underground rapper to go mainstream with, um, ever. So someone please find her little monkey.