XXXmas: Ten Sexiest Christmas Songs
It's Christmas time! Yeah, we're all fucking excited. Or excited about fucking.
We're not sure what it is about the holiday spirit, but all that humbuggery really gets our gifts ready for the ho-ing. We stockpiled our apartment with mistletoe, and we're not going to stop ordering takeout till we get our platter cleaned.
But we're not the only ones. Apparently, everyone likes to bone during the holidays. Check out these dirty tunes, putting the XXX in Xmas. Now bust a nutcracker.
Opera Fusion: Not in My Town
TicketsFri., Sep. 30, 8:00pm
The Dandy Warhols: Distortland Tour
TicketsSat., Oct. 1, 8:00pm
Max & Iggor Cavalera
TicketsSun., Oct. 2, 7:00pm
Charlie Puth - We Don't Talk Tour 2016
TicketsTue., Oct. 4, 7:30pm
Peter Frampton Raw: An Acoustic Tour
TicketsWed., Oct. 5, 7:30pm
Clarence Carter's "Backdoor Santa"
Clarence Carter is a dirty freak. We first met him when we were listening to music about masturbating. Turns out, he keeps strokin' on through the merriest time of all. As he says on the track, he "ain't like no St. Nick/He only cum but once a year." Clean your stockings, you dirty old man.
Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby"
Everyone knows this classic sexy Santa tune. Eartha Kitt is a real minx, and apparently a grade-A gold digger. She wants more than just that holiday sausage. At least she's going to put out to get the goods. Damn girl, don't hurt 'em.Next Page
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