Most professional politicians don't know how to party. Their idea of "fun" is finger foods, light drinks, and saxophone music. So under normal circumstances, we here at Crossfade prefer partying to politicking, boozing to bargaining, drugging to debating.
But Miami-Dade mayoral candidate Luther Campbell is different. As we all know, he is Uncle Luke, a hypeman of the highest order, old-school bass DJ, former 2 Live Crew member, record label boss, free-speech warrior, and superior party dude.
And since he might be the next King of Dade, can we start expecting booty contests at council meetings? Go ask the candidate that question while wilding out, getting drunk, and double dosing at the official Luther "Uncle Luke" Campbell Campaign Rally this Saturday.
Of course, there will be plenty of serious discussion about the Issues for those individuals who can't wait to dive deep into the real business of dragging our county out of its current doldrums.
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Just buy a bottle, corner Uncle Luke, and engage him on such subjects as the Tea Party's relationship with the KKK, the economic importance of the stripper tax, and his status among the neocons -- not to mention his recents proposals for casinos in swanky SoBe hotels and Miami medical marijuana dispensaries.
But the rest of us have already made up our minds. We don't have any questions. We're voting Uncle Luke 4 Mayor. And this shit's gonna be a victory party.
Luther "Uncle Luke" Campbell Campaign Rally, hosted by Notorious Nastie and Caroline "Ms. Miami New Times" Schwitzky with music by YMF, Llamabeats Crew, Run Sevim Run, Atrasolis, Madame Turk, DS, Karakter, and Chico Biscayne. Saturday, May 14. Eve, 1306 N. Miami Ave., Miami. The political party starts at 10 p.m. Call 305-995-5050 or visit miamieve.com.