Despite the theme of our earlier post about last night's VH1 Hip-Hop Honors show
, the entire thing was not, in fact, about Miami. Atlanta, Virginia Beach, New Orleans, and Houston all got their due as well, represented by artists from each city ... and, uh, artists from none of the above. The broadcast was marked by some strange appearances, weird fashion choices, and some serious glaring historical omissions.
(And let's leave aside the fact that, apparently, we weren't the only ones who were given intense high-school flashbacks from most of the show, particularly by the Master P/Mystikal/Juvenile trifecta).
Here are eight non-Miami-related moments on the show that were worthy of a WTF?
Funniest-But-Not-On-Purpose Commercial Aired During the Broadcast: The trailer for Bow Wow's new movie.
Yes, sadly, that was T-Pain playing a quickie-mart lotto ticket vendor.
Scariest Dance Moves: Bone Crusher
In 2003, Bone Crusher scared the crap out of us with "Never Scared." It was the ominous choice of beat, his growling, booming voice, and, well, his size. He was still physically imposing when he appeared onstage for a minute or so of his big hit, but the whole scary factor began to dissipate as he danced by continually lifting up his shirt to show off his belly.
Worst Reminder of Regrettable Elementary School-Era Fashions: Bow Wow
It probably wasn't his first choice to sport a backwards baseball jersey in an homage segment to Kriss Kross, but he could have totally refused to perform "Jump," too. (BTW, where were the REAL Kriss Kross -- wouldn't they have appreciated this small moment back in the spotlight?)
Most Geographically Inappropriate Recurring Sports Team Represented in Merchandise: New York Yankees
It made sense when Diddy appeared in a Yankees track jacket -- he represents New York after all. But what was up with Bow Wow's C.C. Sabathia Jersey? Or 2 Live Crew's Amazing's New York logo cap? Listen, we're Yankees fans too, but we're also fans of dressing for the occasion.
Best Impression of Internet Rap Legend Eli Porter: Silkk the Shocker
Yeah, we forgot about him too, until he reappeared during Master P's No Limit tribute segment. And then we remembered why we forgot -- his appearance here was stuttered, off-time, breathy, and ultimately confusing.
Weirdest Selection of Tribute Song to Pimp C: Bun B on a version of "Big Pimpin'"
Yes, this was during the segment honoring Timbaland, who made the beat for Jay-Z's classic song, but this was a weird choice. Bun should have just gotten some time to do some UGK material elsewhere in a better tribute to his late musical partner.
Worst Ever Live Guest Verse on a Ludacris Song: Asher Roth
I said it before, but corny college rapper Asher Roth did not belong on this program, as the Pennsylvania native has zero to do with the south, and zero to do with street-level hip-hop. His cameo during a group medley of a (bizarrely Ludacris-less) version of Ludacris' "Saturday (Oooh! Oooh!)" didn't do him any favors, either. Homeboy looked painfully fratty in camouflage cargo shorts and pulled-up black socks, and his attempt to be down on his verse for that song left the usually ebullient live audience rather subdued.
And Last, But Worst.... Most Conspicuously Missing Southern Artists, WTF?: This long list, below.
Scarface refused to go, so we know why he wasn't there. Lil Wayne is locked up, so VH1 gets a pass for that one but really, no mention of him? No focus on Cash Money, while No Limit gets a song and dance? No Jeezy? No Ludacris, as pop as he is? No Goodie Mob anything until the end, and then, no Cee-Lo? No Pastor Troy? No Three 6 Mafia? No 8Ball and MJG? No Geto Boys? No mention of Uncle Al or similarly fallen heroes? NO OUTKAST? Seriously, WTF, how do so many people talk about Atlanta and mysteriously NEVER mention Outkast?