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Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez

Grumpiest Cat

For a festival plump with PLUR, it was certainly odd to see a Grumpy Cat prowling amid the bubblegum-colored tutus. He was testing the saccharine smiles of kandi ravers. But nothing, not even this guy, could bring the party down with a frown. Well, maybe the stench lurking under that rubber mask might.

See also: Ultra 2014's Ten Sleaziest T-Shirts

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!
Photo by George Martinez

Best Sign Ever

Yes. After anything, we eat Taco Bell. See you there, brah.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!
Photo by George Martinez

Best Place to Meet a Bro: Ultra Worldwide

This is the "tent" at Ultra where folks who don't know a whole lot about quality go to pump their fists hard as fuck and sweat stinky bullets. If you have a hankering for a bro or babe with mediocre taste in music and a deep desire to bounce around like they're surgically attached to a pogo stick, the Worldwide structure was made just for you.

See also: Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

 

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!
Photo by George Martinez

Best Place to Meet Your New Gay Boyfriend: Carl Cox Tent

No, we're not saying the Carl Cox tent is the best place to snag your next homosexual partner because it's got the word "Cox" in it. It's because Carl Cox is playing inside! House music is the erotic elixir of the gay community. This is where muscles come to find romance.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Baddest Bitch

OK, no clue how old this lady is, but she's looking fierce as fuck! Dude, one day, we plan on having a bod as smoking hot as this woman's. Lord have mercy! And the way she's working that lace? We bow down before you, most mature babe at Ultra. We'll even figure out how to use a treadmill if you make us your disciple.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Finest Use of Feathers

Miami's Cuci Amador of Afrobeta (which performed this year again) is one of the most flawless dressers in the state of Florida. Amador never falters. This Ultra, she brought the feather look that was so popular to the next level. She puts parrots to shame. And on the back of the jacket is the Afrobeta logo. Un-toppable.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

See also: Ultra 2014's Top 20 Raver Looks

 

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Best Question of the Weekend

Well, are you?

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Coolest Cool Guy

It may have been 90 degrees in downtown Miami this weekend, but this guy didn't even break a sweat. Not only is that actually cool, but he was wearing this fascinating kabuki-inspired ensemble that out-hipped the whole affair. His friend had a Maison Kitsune shirt on too. So yeah, he's cooler than you.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Sweatiest People

There were two magical ladies riding around the festival grounds on the backs of huge white alien creatures, creating a memorable spectacle everywhere they went. Only thing is, those aren't actual alien creatures. Nope, they're human people wearing a hot costume and carting around probably 120 pounds' worth of human flesh, bone, muscle, hair, and makeup on their backs. They were likely the sweatiest people ever.

See also: Ultra Ravers Answer: What's in Your Fanny Pack?

 

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Most Clever Use of Symbols

You know exactly what kind of music this guy loves. He doesn't even have to shout over the jaw-chattering bass. He loves house, and we love his ability to communicate, simply and clearly.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Craziest Look

He's wearing top and bottom vampire grills. He's got on a floral blazer. All that jewelry on his head and hanging from his neck has to have been borrowed from a flapper. And those tight pink leggings? This is by far the craziest look of Ultra 2014.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Most Delicious Looking Chow

We're way to poor to buy food at a festival, but we did a ton of sniffing and eyeing of other people's munchables. And we have to say, the teriyaki chicken tent had the flyest looking meals.

See also: Ultra 2014's Top Ten Fashion Trends: Unicorns, Muscles, and More!

 

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Most Fabulous Gay

This is a message to all the young, almost fab queer kids out there: Follow this guy's lead! He is more than adorable in his shiny, sexy club kid fashions and Bjork-inspired hair. Love it all the way into tomorrow. Werk!

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!
Photo by George Martinez

Most Frightening Troll

One day, children will only know trolls as those assholes who say mean things on the Internet. But we know there were hideous dolls that we were expected to collect in middle school, and those were a different kind of troll. This chick donned a modern interp of that classic monster.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!
Photo by George Martinez

Healthiest Raver

You can eat drugs or you can eat pineapples. This health-conscious raver chooses the fruit.

See also: Ultra Ravers' Ten Tips for Finding Love at an EDM Fest

 

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!
George Martinez

Largest Kandi Biceps

Fashion tip! If you didn't have time to pump up your arms with endless dumbell curls, you can create the illusion of swollen biceps with beads.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Most Likely to Get Twitter Followers

Don't lie, you just logged in to Twitter to follow this chick.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Most Literal Ravers

These two girls took candy to heart and nipple and bum with these sugary sweet ensembles.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Most Normal People at Ultra

These must have been the children of a vendor or maybe the festival's CFO. Why else would two seemingly well-adjusted dudes be hanging out at a grimy, bass-inflated shitshow? (We know one good reason, not to be mentioned here, and it has five letters.)

See also: Ultra Ravers Talk About the Meaning of Life

 

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Most Revealing Raver

Dude ... This chick was so revealing, you can literally see inside her.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Weirdest Getup

We hope this is just a leftover Halloween costume and this guy didn't buy a Boy Scout outfit specifically for Ultra. There are so many strange things about a man dressed as a young boy at a rave.

Ultra 2014 Superlatives: Grumpiest Cat, Most Revealing Raver, and More!

Suggestive Floral Arrangement

Flowers represent one thing: vaginas. And yes, we're now looking at that rose and thinking about a vagina. Thanks, DIY raver girl!

Crossfade's Top Blogs

-Top 12 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra Music Festival in Animated GIF!

-Ten Walking Raver Cliches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

-Ultra's 11 Best Nipple Pasties

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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