Ultra 2013: Five Worst Moments, From Free Water to Yeasayer and Bad Drug Trips
The ravin' and ragin' life isn't all epicness.
Sometimes, stuff sucks. Like "free water!!!" and "free Wi-Fi!!!" Or Yeasayer's Chris Keating talking all kinds of mad shit about Ultra Music Festival 2013's happy, half-naked, supernice party people.
Just check the cut for the five worst moments from weekend one of Ultra 2013.
Photo by George Martinez
Free Water and Free Wi-Fi
The human body is 90-percent water at birth. In adulthood, the number decreases to about 70. And when you finally become an geriatric raver, your corporal H20 content will bottom out at 50. Which means that death is literally dehydration. So it was an extremely smart move for Ultra Music Festival to offer "free water!!!" to all UMF fanatics. (Especially considering the blistering Miami weather during the month of March. And, uh, you know, the effects of certain recreational party drugs.) Unfortunately, this "free water!!!" was only available from a small number of poorly equipped stations. Meanwhile, the "free Wi-Fi!!!" also sucked. But at least you can live without Internet access. A three-day UMF H20 shortage could be the sudden end of your raving days. Forever. S. Pajot
Yeasayer, but not Chris Keating.
Photo by George Martinez
Yeasayer's Chris Keating Dissing Every Person at Ultra
We weren't shocked when we saw Yeasayer was playing Ultra, but lead singer Chris Keating seemed pretty surprised when he checked out the crowd at Bayfront Park. "This is more of an electronic kinda music festival, I just realized." Those were his exact first words on the topic during the Brooklyn act's Saturday evening performance. "I've seen a lot of weird shit today," he continued, complaining like a weird old dad about "asses" hanging out of "too short" shorts. All of this in a town known for exposed flesh. And the real kicker, Keating spat with disgust: "This is more florescent green than I've ever seen in my life." At Yeasayer's show next week, maybe he'll call the beach ugly or talk about how the sky is too blue. The "R" in PLUR stands for respect. Our advice to Keating: Get some of that before the second weekend of Ultra, brah. Liz TracyNext Page
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