MORE

Tupac Biopic?! Five Slanderous Post-Death 'Pac Projects

Tupac Biopic?! Five Slanderous Post-Death 'Pac Projects

For most of us schlubs, death is the end. But for an influential artist, it is only the beginning. In fact, there is a guy who has made his entire lucrative career from steering the estates of dead icons including Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and the street-wise prophet Tupac Shakur. His name is Jeff Jampol, and he thinks of himself as a sort of posthumous architect of souls.

"[Tupac's mom] talked about how Tupac had a blueprint for the message he wanted to carry," he told Variety. "That word 'blueprint' sparked a light bulb in my head. I realized if you look at what these artists said, what they did, and the art they created, they will reveal to you the blueprint. They will tell you where to go."

Sometimes we wish those blueprints came with an end point, but the bottom line is always dollar bills, so it's a never-ending cycle to stay relevant beyond the lasting treasure of his living worth. Can you believe the things Tupac's corpse is capable of? Check out these five timeless moments.

See also: Hip-Hop: Five Most Annoying Buzzwords

Movie Biopic

Every real dead star has a biopic, and now Tupac is about to get his very own. From the same people who brought you that movie 2 Guns starring Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington and surely consisting of the same plot every black-cop/white-cop buddy movie works around, we're sure this is going to be a high-quality, non-exploitation project. It's also being produced by the same people behind Ace Ventura, so maybe the action will be spliced with great bits of comedy for a well-rounded portrait of the artist as a young man destined to die. No word yet on who will play the ill-fated rapper, but we hope it's someone good.

Broadway Musical

When Tupac wrote his street anthems, he probably totally envisioned they would be sung on the grand stages of Broadway for overly dressed rich people. He is probably stoked to know that his lyrics, poems, and prose will be reworked into original songs for a non-biographical musical inspired by his genius. Here's to hoping the ticket price isn't too astronomical for Brenda to get a good seat.

Tupac Hologram

This is just ... too much for us to handle. Tupac hasn't aged or decomposed at all. Bro is looking mad good for having been deceased more than 15 years. The allure of Tupac live is definitely not that he is a living, breathing artist with the mental capacity to react instinctively. Or that he can to be moved by the music and thus interpret it with honesty and the unique flair only he possesses. No, I go see Tupac for the "Thug Life" tattoo on his belly and to experience recordings of his music which I can hear at home.

Post-Mortem Releases

Did you know that Tupac has released two more albums after dying than he ever did while alive? That's right. Since passing away, Tupac has released seven full-length albums, and they all made it into the Top 10 of the Billboard charts. He only made five while he was still breathing, but thank goodness that wasn't the end of his career, amirite? It makes you wonder, like, why didn't those things get released while 'Pac was 'round? But don't worry, Jampol and mommy dearest aren't about releasing the "bad stuff." They want to keep his legacy intact.

Dave Chappelle

Alright, this one is actually just hysterical. We think it's our favorite Tupac tribute on the market, and we just wanted an excuse to share it with y'all. Maybe Tupac is alive, chillin' with Elvis and Jim Morrison at some underground bar for the stars far away from the money-making legacy they left behind. There is always hope.

Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.


Sponsor Content