Trip to Ultra Land! Crossfade's 15-Act Itinerary for Ultra Music Festival 2011
Let's be prepared, beat freaks. There is absolutely no reason to wait till we're trapped at the bottom of a 1000-foot k-hole to start planning our Ultra Music Festival itinerary. So before digging out our dosage, stripping down to our rubber underwear, and temporarily leaving behind these human husks we call our bodies, we've gotta take some time to script our trip through Ultra land.
Obviously, with 200-plus house heads, rave-tastic trance masters, and rogue dubsteppers overrunning outdoor stages, immersive arenas, miniature geodesic domes, and other pseudo-futuristic monuments to electronic tuneage, this little scheduling session could easily spiral into total unmanageability. But for the sake of easy comprehension (especially since we'll all soon be so effing high our feet will seem to disappear), let's keep the itinerary extremely simple, scheduling only five stops per day.
Friday, March 25
Tinie Tempah. On the Main Stage. As an honorary junior member of Swedish House Mafia, this 22-year-old Brit MC took us from "Miami 2 Ibiza." And after wilding out to a few of his other hits like glitchy grime cut "Pass Out" and spacey radio bait "Written in the Stars," we've concluded that Tinie comes equipped with fairly reliable party GPS. He will lead us into Ultra land.
CSS. On the Live Stage. Whoa, dude. At this point, we will undoubtedly begin to feel the early effects of that 500mg ketamine kick. So we'll totally need to soak ourselves in positive vibes and pure sonic fun. Hence, Brazilian party pop princess Lovefoxxx, her tie-dyed spandex bodysuit, and four Cansei de Ser Sexy friends.
Erasure. On the Main Stage. Back in the '80s, Erasure's stage show was a fantastically shameless extravaganza of glitter, glammed-out dancers, and giant silvery swans. And while we doubt this English duo's gonna bring that kind of elaborate theatrical production to Bicentennial Park, wouldn't a surprise synth-pop superspectacle be awesome?
Avicii. On the UMF Korea Stage. When the sky suddenly goes dark, we'll be busy clawing our way out of one of those infinitely deep, drug-induced mind pits. No doubt, the answer will be dance. And even though Swedish producer Avicii stole his name from the Buddhist term for the most remote recesses of hell, he specializes in big-room house bangers brighter than the freaking sun. So let him light the way.
Tiësto. On the Main Stage. Normally, we wouldn't want to get lost in a feel-good flood of human emotion. But isn't the Ultra experience partly about embarrassing yourself? So c'mon, let's decide right now: When the time comes, we will keep cruising atop that cresting electronic wave of beautiful music with Dutch DJ legend Tiësto. No regrets.Next Page
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