The Diamond Princess and The President (this humble narrator) are getting married! She ain't single no more!
The President: "Trina will you marry me? We'll be like Drake and Nicki Manaj. Like Jay-Z and Beyonce." Trina spins around with glee.
Trina: "Yes, Mr. President!!!" We hug romantically.
Now if you don't quite understand the above exchange, let us explain ... It's a literal transcription of this week's episode of Prunk TV. See the video after the cut.
Trina represents Miami like no other woman on this planet. Bleidat! She is the sweetest, sexiest, best female rapper alive. She is a ferocious woman, and my heart melts like the wings of Icarus whenever I am around her. The first time I met Trina she had just broken up with Lil Wayne, and her heart had obviously been crushed by that little weasel. I asked her out on a date, and she said, "Maybe in the future." (Our first date was May 8, 2008. )
She has worked so hard to make it in a game dominated by men that she deserves our respect and love! Thank you God, for creating Trina! She has been showing me the ropes of the music biz, giving me spiritual advice, and now she is my fiancé! I love you, baby!
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Wait, let's rewind ... I was working hard in the studio last night, adding some final touches to The President's upcoming album, Experience Sobriety , which will be available on Roofless Records March 5, 2011. Trina was working in a nearby booth and she popped in to see how I was doing. Judging from the footage, I was unable to contain myself. I asked her to marry me right there on the spot. Later in the night, she told me something that I would like to share with you, dear readers:
"I need you to help me collect toys for underprivileged children," she explained as I tried to subdue my passions. She continued, "My third annual toy drive is coming up this Friday. The kids love the toys, and I am so excited about this." I told her that I would write a blog about it, and I am a man of my word.
Trina's Diamond Doll Foundation & the Florida Entertainment Summit are assisting the Miami Dade Foster & Adoptive Parent Association this holiday season to collect toys for children who will otherwise have nothing this Christmas. Support their initiatives by purchasing gifts, something, anything for these children, and donating them at the Jingle Bell Toy Drive & Fashion Show this Friday, December 10 from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at Club Play, on South Beach. Do it! You will thank me later.
P.S. Dear Diddy Dirty Money, will you be my best man?