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Top Ten Rap Felons: Shoot Outs, Beat Downs, and Face Eating

Big Lurch, the freaking PCP cannibal.
Big Lurch, the freaking PCP cannibal.

In the gritty rap game, honor is everything. And honor usually means a bag full of automatic weapons at an airport.

Alright, not every rapper's got a rap sheet. But if you talk the talk, you're expected to do the time. A mean MC with a big mouth is just a poser without a felony charge. And getting convicted doesn't do anything to hurt your street cred, as long as your homies hold it down while you're gone.

But who's really practicing what they preach? All wack MCs better watch out for Crossfade's top ten rap felons.

10. Lil Wayne

Say whatever you like about Weezy going soft, everyone knows he's a gun-toting, time doing fool at heart. He just got done serving eight months in the can for having a semi-automatic weapon on his tour bus. But while he was in jail, he only seemed to get more famous. That's how you know you're (not actually) a Young Money billionaire.

9. T. I.

This guy's jail time has only helped his career too. The Atlanta-based rapper has twice done time for probation violation. And most famously, he served eleven months in prison for getting caught buying unregistered machine guns and silencers. But being stuck on the inside didn't stop him from releasing his album No Mercy and totally killin' it on the U.S. charts.

 

8. Chris Brown

Yep, this little singing bastard gets to have his "Birthday Cake" and beat it too. And while Breezy never had to serve any time behind bars, the jury's still out on whether he can outgrow the image of being a totally aggressive girlfriend-beater. He caught federal assault charges when he busted Rihanna's face open in 2009. Of course, once a bad boy always a bad boy. And now Brown is in trouble for grabbing up a girl's iPhone while leaving Cameo on Miami Beach. Some people never learn.

7. Turk

Another Cash Money rapper and former Hot Boy, alongside Lil Wayne, this guy was sentenced to a year in prison for being caught with guns and drugs. He had previous felony charges on his record. So, uh, this was a big no-no. Plus, Turk got caught by SWAT members performing a raid. And to make matter worse, he hid in his closet and then fought back, shooting a SWAT member four times. At least he doesn't go down without a fight.

 

6. C-Murder

In a case of life imitating art, Master P's little brother found himself in a precarious position, having to change his rap moniker from C-Murder to C-Miller in 2003. At the time, he was facing second-degree murder charges after a shoot-up at a New Orleans club resulted in the death of a 16-year-old fan. He was found guilty in 2009 and sentenced to life in prison.

5. B. G.

New Orlean's rapper B.G. makes the list for pleading guilty to felony weapons charges and tampering with a witness. In 2009, he was pulled over for a traffic violation. And knowing he was gonna get caught all strapped up, he just convinced his 17-year-old passenger to say the weapons were his. It was easy to believe, because the kid had already been arrested three times that year. But too bad for B.G., it didn't stick. This makes for three out of four Hot Boys with felony convictions. Better step your game up, Juvenile.

 

4. Young Buck

This G-Unit rapper was just sentenced to 18 months in prison. Already a felon, he was caught with hip-hop's most obvious crime, hoarding firearms at his mansion. But how did Young Buck become a felon in the first place? Oh, that's right, he stabbed a guy at the 2004 VIBE Awards for stepping the wrong way to Dr. Dre. At least he's loyal.

Top Ten Rap Felons: Shoot Outs, Beat Downs, and Face Eating

3. Kareem "Biggs" Burke

This Roc-A-Fella co-founder was sentenced to five years in prison yesterday for his part in a giant marijuana distribution operation. He was caught on wiretap discussing details in a grow house, and being friends with Jay-Z can't save him now. He plead guilty to conspiring to distribute more than 100 kilos of the good stuff. But he probably should've just kept to pushing records.

 

2. Jimmy Henchman

In another case from yesterday, this ex-manager to Akon, Brandy, and Gucci Mane was charged for being the head honcho of a drug-running operation. Because managing platinum artists is too easy, Henchman was also running something called the "Rosemond Organization," which helped move narcotics throughout the United States. He was found guilty of 13 separate charges and now faces life in prison.

1. Big Lurch

Even though getting sent to the clink for being the kingpin of a large-scale narcotics operation is all well and good, it's kinda standard for hip-hop. But, uh, taking a bunch of PCP, murdering your roommate, and then eating her is total next-level felon insanity. Just the kinda thing for which this Texan rapper was sentenced to life in prison. The victim was found with her chest torn open, and teeth marks on her face and lungs. Meanwhile, Lurch was found naked, covered in blood, standing in the street and screaming at the sky. So, basically, don't do PCP. Ever.

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