Top Ten Animals Dancing to Dubstep
Dubstep is officially one of those genres that started out as one thing, ended up another, and now nobody can tell if music (as a whole) is even good. Maybe it's great? But it's probably terrible.
With Skrillex's pop canonization by the Grammys, there isn't a lone old-timey basshead who hasn't yet disavowed the genre. Or at least offered a disclaimer-splanation of what exactly dubstep means to them.
But what man abandons, nature rescues. Like vine encasing an abandoned factory, the animal kingdom has taken up the bass music that humans have so carelessly discarded.
10. A Dubstep Horse Is a Horse, Of Course
Extending a one-second clip of a horse over 11 seconds and throwing in some wobble for good measure sounds like the exact reason Al Gore invented the internet. Can you imagine what the country would have looked like if the Supreme Court hadn't coronated Dubya back in 2000? We imagine an audio-visual collaboration between Mr. Ed and Skrillex.
9. Baby Squirrel Jamin (sic) to Dubstep
Circa 2012, Chip, Dale and the rest of the Rescue Rangers are all up in the club, geeked out on e-pills, spilling other people's drinks, and waiting -- just waiting -- for the bass to drop.
8. The Owls Are Not What They Dubstep
Yo, dubstep needs to drop the bros and start drafting some fucking hippies. Lava lamps, tapestries, bra-burning, and assorted other signifiers from the Free Love era could really temper the genre's testosterone. Now ... Stare at this trippy owl.
7. Dubstep Fish
This guy's pet puffer fish is the creature from the dubstep lagoon. What if every time the bass dropped, everyone in the room turned into a puffer fish? Now there's a party theme!
6. Dubstep Aquarium
We'll see your slimy dubstepping puffer fish and raise you an entire tank filled with aquatic vertebrates whose iPods are filled to capacity with nothing but Mary Anne Hobbes podcasts.
5. Japanese Animals Love Dubstep Too
Quit assuming animals who love dubstep is a distinctly Western phenomenon. Wild creatures from the Land of the Rising Sun seriously run on this shit too. Every day in Japan is like the opening scene of The Lion King, set to dubstep.
4. Hunting Is Like Dancing, Especially When the Soundtrack Is Dubstep
It's nice that the international future bass diaspora has reintroduced some long lost intensity to e-musc. But the scarier and more menacing dubstep becomes, the more we think it should be paired with gladiator fights to the finish and cannibal buffets.
3. Some Dogs Dancing to Dubstep
The dumbest video on this list.
2. A Parrot Dancing to Dubstep
This is the weirdest thing we have ever seen. It is downright unsettling. Why is it doing that? What does it mean?
1. The Dubstep Monkey Teaches You How To Dougie
The Dubstep Monkey is our favorite kind of animal ... A fuckin' party animal.
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