Hip-hop is a giant pissing contest set to music.
But while diamond-plated rims and gold watches will always be rap music standard bearers, you rarely hear declarations of being tremendous in the most literal sense possible.
Yes, many rappers are fat. However, only a certain subset of the hip-hop community can be defined as truly phat. And by phat, we mean their plus-sized waistlines are integral to their larger-than-life personas.
Here are Crossfade's top five phattest rappers of all time.
5. Rick Ross
Although The Bawse is the phiphth phattest rapper, he is the number-one MC when it comes to culinarily-inclined lyrical content. One could probably slap together an entire menu based on the grub Rozay namechecks in virtually every song he writes. In fact, somebody already did.
4. Fat Joe
Although Bronx-bred Latino rapper Fat Joe has shed the bulk of his hulk, he made sure to forever honor his previously plus-sized existence by adding "Fat" to his name as though it were a titular prefix like "Don" or "Dr." Unlike that pussy Bow Wow (who decided way too late in the game that he no longer wanted to be "Lil'"), Joe is motherfuckin' dedicated to his stage name.
3. Notorious B.I.G.
He loved it when you called him Big Poppa 'cause this S.O.B. was fucking huge! After he started hanging out with Puff Daddy and got all rich 'n' famous (but before he got all bug-eyed paranoid), the Notorious B.I.G. lived life as if it were an East Coast gangsta-rap buffet. As described in the skit "Fuck Me," Biggie Smalls was -- straight up -- a "Kentucky Fried Chicken-eatin', Chronic-smokin', Oreo cookie-eatin', pickle juice-drinkin,' chicken gristle-eatin', biscuitsuckin', V8 juice-drinkin', Slim Fast, black, greasy muthafucka."
2. Heavy D
But without Heavy D, there would've never been no Notorious kickin' back, stuffing his pudgy grill with Oreos and sippin' pickle juice. Indeed, B.I.G. was always spinning Heavy D in his limousine. We imagine Biggie must have taken a liking to D's fat-positive ideology. The man professed an unwavering dedication to Living Large and letting the world know he was "Chunky But Funky."
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1. Fat Boys
But no one rhyme-spitter is phatter that the mo'fuckin' Fat Boys. Imagine three Heavy Ds with bigger bellies and even bigger funny bones. This trio was originally called Disco 3. But these guys knew if they wanted to become international sensations, they were going to have to err on the side of girth.