But there are plenty of cheaper places to get drunk near a fat guy in Miami.
Here are the top five New Year's Eve 2012 parties in Miami that won't cost you a single cent.
Eyes wide shut and lovin' it.
5. Eyes Wide Shut. Saturday, December 31, 9 p.m., Cafeina, 297 NW 23rd St., Miami; 305-438-0792; cafeinamiami.com. Free. $90 advance, $120 at the door Mysterious attire encouraged, live feed of the Times Square ball drop, sounds by Supersede and Santiago Caballero, complimentary champagne at midnight, bottle specials all night.
4. Dive In. Saturday, December 31, all night, Happy's Stork Lounge, 1872 79th Street Cswy., Miami Beach; 305-865-3621. Free. You will not read about this joint in any lame glossy national magazine's list of the best bars in America, because it is actually too cool and dive-y for them. When you really want to get messed up in public with a revolving cast of lowlifes, losers, outsiders, Ponzi schemers, pirates, whiskey- cougars, hustlers, knucklers, brawlers, grifters, drunks, locals, ramblers, and party animals straight out of central casting, this is the place. No cover.
3. The Corner. Saturday, December 31, all night, The Corner, 1035 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Free. Awesome new spot in the heart of downtown clubland. Never a cover, 24-hour liquor license, weekends open till 8 in the morning. Specialty drinks of a mixological variety, meaning extra care taken with ingredients while crafting a tasty beverage that will get you fucked up. Good food too.
Photo by chensiyuan via Wiki Commons
2. Ocean Drive. Saturday, December 31, all night, Ocean Drive, Miami Beach. Free. The Orange Drive concert with Cee-Lo, Pete Wentz, Boyz ll Men, and Jermaine Dupri costs $150. But you don't have to pay any admission charge to have a good time partying on Ocean Drive on New Year's Eve. Out here, sex on the beach is not the name of a drink. Out here, the drunken revelry far surpasses that inside any club. Traffic is blocked off, the street is jammed with people from all over the world, and the ice-cold sea breeze will help sober you up when it's time to leave.
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1. Bayfront Park New Year's Eve Extravaganza. Saturday, December 31, 7 p.m., Bayfront Park, 301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-358-7550; bayfrontparkmiami.com. Free. This is the largest free party in all of South Florida. There's a massive and incredible fireworks show. And this year, the Red Bull Soundclash brings in Ludacris to battle Chris Posner. The countdown to midnight goes down with the Big Orange, and the Biscayne Bay glows brighter than the inside of a thermonuclear reactor.