Too Short's Six Best Sex Songs
Too $hort is an independent hip hop pioneer who made his first million on cassette tapes. The East Oakland pimp is famous for dirty sex raps, and has put out a new album almost every year since 1987.
He's also a ghetto reality rapper in the style of Melle Mel from Grandmaster Flash, and has loads of music about staying positive and working hard. But when he hits LIV on Sunday, he'll probably drop non stop party classics about fucking.
Here are Too $hort's top six sex raps.
6. "Pimp the Ho"
From $hort's certified double-platinum second album, Life Is Too $hort, the chick singing the "pimp the ho" refrain laces up five minutes and 55 seconds of East Oakland storytelling rap at its best.
"I'm slammin Cadillac dohs, How can I retire, still pimpin' the hos/Suited from my head to my toes/Why they call me Too $hort no one knows/'Cause when I pull it out, it grows, and it grows, and it grows." This track features an R&B hook and verse from Jagged Edge, production by Jazze Pha, and background vocals by Keri Kilson, probably a pseudonym for Keri Hilson.
4. "Invasion of the Flat Booty Bitches"
"If you got game, and a bed/Why not get fucked and get some head..." This late '90s track, produced by Erick Sermon of EPMD, talks about what it's like when it seems like "all the bitches with ass stayed home today."
3. "Gettin' It"
Ey, just to keep it real, this isn't even a sex song, but Too $hort's catalog leans more heavily to conscious reality raps than all his dirty hits would make you think. This title track from his tenth of sixteen albums, Gettin' It (Album Number Ten), lays down the truth about how he made it and how you can too.
2. "Blowjob Betty"
"She can blow more head than a whale blows water/Blowjob Betty make your dick get harder/She's a one-of-a-kind, a hell of a girl. A trip and a half around the world." $hort wrote and recorded this for his Get In Where You Fit In album at his own Dangerous Studios with production from his entire Dangerous Crew and live bass guitar by Shorty B, who also worked with Digital Underground.
1. "Freaky Tales"
"I met this freak named Yolanda/Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda/I was on top and she was up under/The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder." The quads on "Freaky Tales" drop so hard, and the 808s crack so clean, it might as well be a Miami bass track. It's from way back in 1987 on the Born to Mack tape.
Too $hort. With DJs Stevie J and Don P. Sunday, August 4. LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. The party starts at 10 p.m. Call 305-674-4680 or visit livnightclub.com
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