Toby Keith at Cruzan Amphitheatre September 15

September 13, 2012

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The red Solo cup is, by all accounts, one of the douchiest party accessories known to man. Into it, copious amounts of alcohol are poured. From it, copious amounts of alcohol are consumed. The results: frat-boy fist pumping, questionably consensual sex, and 13-hour hangovers. But the disposable plastic beer-pong must-have is also the titular subject of a popular country song by Toby Keith. Because there are no limits to what you can sing about when it's got a little twang to it. The chorus: "Red Solo cup, I fill you up/Let's have a party, let's have a party/I love you red Solo cup, I lift you up/Proceed to party, proceed to party," is simple and infectious, like a curable venereal disease. And for Keith, "Red Solo Cup" was a step in the right direction. Signing about sticking a boot in someone's ass, as he did on "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)," was cool only after 9/11. And despite what Toby said then, violence and arrogance are not "the American way." Drinking, however, is.

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