Since you never even leave the house during daylight hours, there's zero chance you'll make it anywhere near Art Basel's actual exhibition sites. Your personal plan: Rubbing shoulders (and maybe other body parts) with the artsy elite at a series of afterdark affairs. It all sounds a little dirty. But we're not here to judge. In fact, we're here to help.
So quick ... Check the cut for three Basel club bashes you should immediately add to your late-night itinerary: LastNightsParty at Mokai, the Blackbook throwdown at SET, and a Nikki Beach thing that'll make your ears bleed.
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LastNightsParty's Basel Party. Believe it or not, photographer Merlin Bronques's job is catching drunk party people all around the world in the midst of bad -- and often, borderline shameful -- behavior. He then uploads these photos to lastnightsparty.com and gets hella paid. Now, he's hosting his very own Basel soiree. And given the site's content, we suggest you adopt a temporary pseudonym. You wouldn't want your mother (or your boyfriend) to Google you and inadvertently discover these snapshots. Friday, December 3, at Mokai, 235 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-531-5535; mokaimiami.com.
Blackbook Magazine Party. Arts and culture mag Blackbook has made its name at Basel with annual celeb-and-cool-kid blowouts. And this year, the mag teams up with architecturally-inspired UK shoe brand United Nude for a little shindig at SET starring Boys Like Girls drummer John Keefe and NYC-based DJ duo the Chainsmokers behind the decks. Thursday, December 2, at SET, 320 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-531-2800; setmiami.com.
Edward Maya. Turn on a radio or go to a nightclub and you'll hear the hit single "Stereo Love." You might have heard it so much, your ears are gushing blood. That said, we know its "played out" status won't stop the maddened masses from bumrushing Nikki Beach's Saturday beach party. It will be Maya's US debut, so even gratuitous fist pumping will be a part of music history. And we all want to be a part of history, right? Saturday, December 4, at Nikki Beach, One Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 786-515-1130; nikkibeach.com. Tickets cost $40 and up via wantickets.com.