The Six People You Meet on South Beach

The Six People You Meet on South Beach
Photo by George Martinez

It's a blessing and a curse. It's a tourist trap and an aging icon. It's a wonder of the world and a wonder that it isn't under water. Love it or hate it, South Beach is the jewel of Miami, and it's not going anywhere just yet.

The bridge acts as a strange filter. You can find all kinds out there, and even the regular clubbers among us get a little weirder when we touch down on the other side. Some characters are a guarantee, and we'd like to celebrate SoBe in all its absurd glory.

Here are the six people you meet on South Beach.

See also: Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ

The Six People You Meet on South Beach
Photo by Lex Hernandez

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The European Tourist

This guy waited in line for 20 minutes to get inside Mansion nightclub, but he has no idea who is spinning tonight. He just knows that it's Mansion, and he's on South Beach, and he's leaning over your shoulder breathing vodka words into your ear. He has a cute accent, but he dresses like a dickhead. This isn't going to work for him.

The Six People You Meet on South Beach
Photo by Lex Hernandez

That Bitch With the Perfect Body

You know she wasn't born with it, but that hardly matters when she's in her thong bikini. She hasn't paid cover or dinner bills in so long, she doesn't remember her signature. She knows all the top promoters in town, and she can get you and all your female friends into the VIP or onto that yacht party. The guys will have to figure it out for themselves.

See also: South Beach's Ten Best Dance Clubs


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