Who is the real Jennifer Lopez?
Well, earlier this month, the Australian edition of 60 Minutes praised the entertainer's seemingly grounded, surprisingly un-diva-like demeanor during a recent interview.
"I'd expected to sit down with a prima donna," reporter Allison Langdon said during the segment. "But the 43 year old is warm and engaging."
The television news magazine correspondent also enthusiastically marveled at Lopez's striking beauty, complementing the singer's full-bodied hair, "flawless" skin, and all-around glamor. Like most who meet J.Lo, the reporter was refreshingly awestruck, even giddy at times to be speaking with an incredibly levelheaded superstar.
Our experience with Lopez, however, was far different. And by different, we mean non-existent.
Crossfade's interview request was denied, suggesting that Jenny from the Block suddenly became exhausted with being so "warm and engaging" just before the undisclosed, would-be date of our conference call with her.
In the end, we wasted upwards of 39 research hours, the bulk of which took place while snuggled beneath a fleece blanket as we nursed a fever likely induced by J.Lo overload.
Speaking of which, did you know that Jennifer Lopez had to give her four-year-old twins a stern "mom look" before a recent concert at the Staples Center in Los Angeles? You would if you'd gotten lost on the Internet with us and stumbled upon New Delhi Television.
The web's full of arbitrary tidbits about celebrities. And with the exception of Lindsey Lohan, maybe Justin Bieber, and Carly Rae Jepsen, Ms. Lopez is currently the hottest piece of pop gossip on the planet. From fashion secrets to alleged extortion plots, nearly every piece of the Bronx-born Boricua's dirty laundry has been sorted online and tagged appropriately.
Yet Crossfade regrettably missed the boat, unwillingly losing our opportunity to dig deeper into the woman who's gone from an accessory in P. Diddy's pre-millennial criminal gun case to the top of Forbes's Celebrity 100 list.
We weren't going to be thwarted by a one-time In Living Color backup dancer, though. And ultimately, the would-be answers to our would-be questions would have to come from somewhere else. Enter Besser Entertainment, a "Nationwide Entertainment Agency" providing access to dozens of comedians, impersonators, and celebrity look-alikes.
There was a Virginia-based Abraham Lincoln. There was a woman who shared about as much resemblance to Harry Potter's Bellatrick Lestragne as our 12-year-old neighbor on Halloween. And then there were two Jennifer Lopezes.
Oddly, the J.Lo from Miami looked more like Mariah Carey circa 1996. Coincidentally, she also does a mean Mimi and an almost believable Beyoncé. The other Jennifer Lopez is based in California and she's the spitting image of Angelina Jolie. After all, she is an Angelina Jolie impersonator in addition to her part-time gig as a Lopez look-alike..
Either of these women, we hoped, could use their method acting class experience to channel their inner J.Lo and speak to us, in character, as Jenny from the Block. And whether or not they dressed like Jenny McCarthy or J.Lo didn't matter. Because this was a phone interview.
So we called Besser Entertainment's owner, Ron Besser. After several attempts, the man in charge picked up. And once again, we found ourselves requesting an interview with "Jennifer Lopez." The only difference: This time, locking down a Q&A actually seemed like reasonable and attainable goal.
"We're looking at 1 p.m. with J.Lo Miami," Besser said when he called us back to confirm the interview. "She'll call you."
That was on August 22. J-Lo never called. And Besser hasn't returned our messages.
Guess we'll have to keep waiting for our warm engagement.
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Jennifer Lopez and Enrique Iglesias. Friday, August 31, and Saturday, September 1. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets cost $19.50 to $199.50 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 786-777-1000 or visit aaarena.com.