In case you were too busy living your life to watch a TV show about a TV show, you may not have caught Oxygen's The Glee Project. If this is the case, you missed out a the rare reality show opportunity to watch giant nerds emote instead of trashy monsters scream.
The first season of this show pitted 12 talented and diverse gleeks against each other to compete for a seven-episode guest starring role on musical pop culture phenomenon Glee. Last night was the season finale, which offered a few surprises and an introduction to the word glee-ach, a hybrid of the words Glee and biatch.
You wanna know who, right? Let's take a peek at the four finalists and see what they did that was so special.
First, there's Lindsay, who the judges kept saying had no personality, even though her pretty face and giant voice were made for the camera. Second, it's an understatement to say that Samuel is "intense." But he's frighteningly beautiful, despite his dreads. Third, Damian is a nice little dude from Ireland. No idea what he's saying, ever, but he's got the sweetest vibe and sparking eyes. And finally, Alex is a chubby black boy from Lynn, Massachusetts, who sings like the most moving of divas. Earlier this season, he gave the watching world shivers with a totally touching cover of "I Will Always Love You."
This week's finale was called "Glee-ality." (Get it? Like reality? So clever!) And it involved all four finalists singing Glee's unofficial theme song, "Don't Stop Believin.'' Well, they all lost their crap. Co-creator of Glee Ryan Murphy was the special guest, dressed in a ridiculously bedazzled button-down. The unpleasant judge cut off their snoozy Journey performance to bring in the not-winners of shows past. Glee-munity! Hugs all around.
The deal: They were going to be shooting a video and singing their own version of Pink's "Raise Your Glass" on a helipad. Murphy asked them to be vulnerable, emotional, and inspirational. Self-obsessed Alex admitted that he's scared of dancing on the roof of a skyscraper, 'cause "one of these old contenders might push me off!" With some of his diva antics, it would have been no surprise.
A little later, Glee's executive music producer Adam Anders ripped them apart in the recording studio. He made sure to point out that Lindsay is not versatile. Talking about Damian, he said, "Nobody's that nice in Hollywood." Samuel was having trouble with "come on ins," whatever that is, and Alex ruled. They all then performed a forgettable group performance of an unimpressive song. These kids are good, though. And for a crew of drama queens, they seem to have kept the real drama to a min and the bear hugs to a max.
For the final competition, the finalists got to chose their own song, so they were guaranteed not to suck. Lindsay stuck with musical theater belting out "Gimme Gimme" from Thoroughly Modern Millie. Damian was just, like, the dreamiest, doing dorky dance movies while singing Bobby Darin's "Beyond the Sea." Samuel brought the Dolly Parton and coffeehouse open-mic energy with "Jolene." Finally, the most powerful singer and probably least likable of the four, Alex, belted out "I Am Changing" from Dreamgirls while dressed in drag, looking like a cute but manly version of pre-Weight Watchers Jennifer Hudson.
Meanwhile, Murphy, in a corny straw cap, dished out backhanded compliments and let the finalists know that this competition wasn't about talent, but "the needs of the show." After informing Alex that he embodies all that Glee is, Murphy coldly told him that it ain't gonna happen, he's out. Lindsay got the big N-O next. And then Samuel was announced as the winner. Apparently, he has the "it factor," which translates as beautiful, a little too driven, and a tiny bit scary.
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Then, wait for it, the first surprise ... Damian with his infectious smile also won! Yay. But OK, just wait -- the biggest news was that the two losers are gonna be written into a couple of episodes too! That's when the brilliance of having a TV show about a TV show became clear. We're attached and now we have to see these lil' crooners on the sitcom.
Glee-it, now we're trapped into watching a whole new season of Glee.