The soft glow of innocence in a child's face. The meeting of two souls who will become one through love. The all-consuming pride of parenthood. Frankly, I'm sick and tired of the trend in music that scoffs, mocks, and berates such sweet and pure notions. There is goodness in this world, and I don't see why musicians have to be so jaded and cynical as to destroy it with their depraved - no, sick - songs about sex and violence and perversion. What is wrong with this society that its artists must be so destructive and negative? The audio pornography must be stopped, and I'm here to help the PMRC, Jack Thompson, Keith Clayborne, and the others fight the good fight. Let's clean up our music before it's too late.
In order to assist you decent people in protecting your women and children from the scourge of recorded obscenity, we've come up with a list of the songs we feel are the biggest threat to America's sanctity. Listening to this garbage will lead you down the dark path to torment. Absorb enough of this trash while you're young, and you'll grow up twisted and deranged and a detriment to society. Beware of these dangerous songs. Save your family now. You'll thank yourself in the years to come.
"Shake, Rattle, and Roll" by Big Joe Turner
Using the rhythms of the devil, Turner implores us to sin with lyrics such as, "Wearing those dresses that the sun comes shining through" and "I'm like a one-eyed cat peeping in the seafood store/I can look at you, tell you ain't no child no more." Strictly X-rated.
"Good Golly, Miss Molly" by Little Richard
A homosexual pervert sings about how Miss Molly "sure likes to ball," a euphemism for having sexual intercourse. And they play it on the radio!
"Day Tripper" by the Beatles
This song is about masturbation. The male character says he has a "good reason for taking the easy way out" because "she took me half the way there." If you listen carefully, you'll hear them actually use the sexist phrase "prick teaser."
"Mustang Sally" by Sir Mack Rice
Sally is a slut. All she wants to do is "ride." And he encourages it, even celebrates it! What's worse is that many other groups have hopped on this bandwagon - the Lamplighters ("Ride, Jockey, Ride") and the Hollywood Flames ("Ride, Helen, Ride") and even Little Sylvia ("Drive, Daddy, Drive").
"Sixty Minute Man" by the Dominoes
They all like to brag about their sexual prowess, don't they?
"It Ain't the Meat, It's the Motion" by the Swallows
As with much obscenity, you don't even need to hear the song to know. This gang was also responsible for a tune called "Bicycle Tillie." Riding the bicycle, pumping the pedals, is a metaphor for "riding" the female (see "Mustang Sally" entry above). And even the group's name is far too suggestive for general consumption.
"Louie, Louie" by the Kingsmen
Yes, they do say the F-word.
"Who's Making Love" by Johnny Taylor
Taylor also covered George Clinton's "(I Just Wanna) Testify," a filthy sex song itself. But "Who's Making Love" is Top 10 sin material. It's about a back-door man who has sex with a married woman and justifies this moral transgression by noting that her husband is cheating on her at the same time. Macho posturing; an insult to and assault upon monogamy.
"Big Ten Inch Record" by Bull Moose Jackson
Sure, he's talking about a piece of vinyl. Sure. So how come he also recorded a song called "I Want a Bowlegged Woman"?
"Wake Up Little Susie" by the Everly Brothers
Two underage youths go to a movie. They end up spending the night together. Then they try to lie their way out of it. This encapsulates everything that is wrong with young people today.
"My Ding-a-ling" by Chuck Berry
The live version is especially vulgar.
"Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke
During the course of this song, Cooke uses the phrases "going down," "moaning," "long," "hard," and "oooh-aaah." Cooke's pornography is not limited to this tune. In "Bring It On Home," he sings about S&M ("slave"), necrophilia ("grave"), and promiscuity ("I don't care who you been with..."). In the intro of the live version of "Twistin' the Night Away," the popular singer says "put it anywhere," an obvious reference to anal intercourse. The same song talks about people who are "gay" and "that chick's moving up and back." No shame, which is shameful.
"Lover's Holiday" by Peggy Scott and Jo Jo Benson
"We can love [i.e., have sex] till the break of day/We don't care what people say." As she gets more shrieky, he gets tighter, passion builds, she's out of control, he's throbbing.... See? See what happens?
"Shake a Tail Feather" by the Five Du-Tones
Yet another ode to anal intercourse. Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it baby, they sing, and here we go loop-de-loop. It's as if they're actually having illegal and immoral sodomy while performing the song. But this is the kicker: "Bend over/Let me see you shake a tail feather." Sick, sick, sick.
There are several people in this community who are propagating this evil and dangerous "music." We must boycott them, write letters of protest, report them to the proper authorities. Chief among the perverts:
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* Stu Goldstein, host of the Keeper of the Keys Oldies Show on WVCG-AM (1080) Fridays at 6:00 p.m.
* Ken Held, host of the Doo-Wop Shop on WKAT-AM (1360) Sundays at 11:00 a.m.
* Bob Pianka, host of Rock and Roll Revisited on WLRN-FM (91.3) Sundays at 6:00 p.m.
They should all be locked up. "But it's art," they whine. Baloney! This music must be squelched before too many more people become exposed to it, and have their futures wrecked in the process.