Sure, Ultra Music Festival's a good time. But if you aren't careful, it can get the better of you. Greater men (and ladies) than you have fallen waste to the onslaught of this three day electro extravaganza.
So there's a decent chance that you might have, in the midst of your merrymaking, gone overboard and had too much of whatever it was you were having.
And if you did, there's a decent chance you might have passed out, face down in the gravel, all sloppy-faced and whatnot. So here's to you, fuck up!
1. You Woke Up a Teletubby
Chances are you don't even know the Teletubbies unless you've been doing acid at 5 a.m. while watching PBS. Or you're a five year old. But if you're a five year old, why the fuck are you at Ultra? And where are your degenerate parents?
2. It Seemed Like a Really Good Idea To...
Eat a roll, take a shot, do a line ... Anything that would normally seem ill-advised. But last night, it seemed like such a good idea. Well, it wasn't.
3. Like, Maybe ... This!
4. You Partied With This Guy
But you didn't heed the shirt.
5. This Was the Vantage Point From Where You Woke Up
6. This Was Your Breakfast Buffet
7. You Couldn't Make It to the Port-A-Potty
So instead you pissed on the partition.
8. Sounduo Was Your Alarm Clock
9. You Came Up With a Ten-Point List
But you only wrote nine items.
10. Shit! Wait!
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I have 10! You woke up next to this guy!