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Ten Best Music Tees on the Interweb

A t-shirt isn't just a cotton sack with sleeves. It's a way to speak your mind and shove your middle finger in society's face. Or it could just be something to conceal your man boobs.

Music tees are an important species of the t-shirt genus, informing fellow wearers of your musical preferences while also making you seem semi-fly and stylish.

And in an attempt to help guide your music tee selection, we here at Crossfade have compiled a list of the ten best music tees out there.

10. I Love You But I've Chosen Techno Tee

The day may never come when you'll have to choose between a significant other and techno. But if it does, choose techno. It won't cheat on you or leave you for someone better. It will, though, provide you with awesome dance marathons, random makeout sessions, and ringing in your ears -- which are all better than a broken heart.

9. The Creation of Music Tee

Though you religion freaks might disagree, it's pretty unlikely that God created Adam from a handful of dust. Just as unlikely (yet totally more fun) is the idea that God handed Adam a vinyl record, as depicted on this tee. Our question: What record could God have possibly bestowed on the first man? The most likely answer: God gave us the Beatles. Now that is a belief we have faith in.

8. 99 Problems Tee

It's possible these were the lyrics that Jay-Z had initially written before some flashy hip-hop exec commented on the lack of a curse word in the hook. We will say that the one-syllable bitch does flow better. This tee works because not all of us have down bitches like Beyonce. And most of the time a bitch is a problem -- especially because when she's not a problem, it's rare to refer to her as a bitch.

7. T-Equalizer Tee

Roughly one in ten people sport this baby at Ultra Music Festival every year. So just owning the shirt is almost like being part of a cult. You know you were freaking out when you saw it for the first time, pointing and making sure all your friends had caught a glimpse too. And since you were probably on some silly drug, it seemed way more awesome than it actually is. We all still love it anyway.

6. Who The Fuck is Mick Jagger? Tee

A tee with some history ... Keith Richards was spotted wearing this one during the Rolling Stones' tour of North and South America in 1975. We dig the jest. If you're confused and sincerely wondering whom Mick Jagger is, you should probably go jump off a bridge. [Note: Crossfade does not promote suicide. By "go jump off a bridge," we simply mean "catch up on your rock 'n' roll history."]

 

5. Biggie Juicy Tee

There's nothing like illustrating an epic lyric by an iconic rapper like the Notorious B.I.G. with the image of a freckly white ginger. This tee just goes to show that words defy race, and that black and white kids alike have to overcome the horrors of bullying. All that soft shit aside, the shirt is probably just saying that white kids can be gangster too.

4. Dylan's Face on a Dollar Tee

Not sure what the correlation between George Washington and Bob Dylan is - progressive thinking, maybe? It could just be a stoner t-shirt designer's feeble attempt at saying, "Bob Dylan is No. 1." In any case, it's Bob Dylan's face on a dollar as he smokes a cigarette, and that's rad.

3. Miami Dolphins Tiësto Tee

Wear this tee out to show your support for godsent trance DJ-producer Tiësto -- all while flaunting the aqua and coral of the still-warming-up-for-the-season Miami Dolphins. Clearly, electronic music and football go hand in hand: sweaty men, performance enhancers, and the occasional fist-pump.

2. Salsa Dancing Tee

It's a dancing jar of salsa and it's absolutely phenomenal. Enough said.

1. Janet Jackson Nip Slip Tee

This is the perfect tee to have as a memento of Janet Jackson's nip slip during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show. That wardrobe malfunction, which occurred when Justin Timberlake tore off a piece of her bra, revealed a silver sun-shaped nipple ring -- as seen on the tee. Either it was planned or Janet's a masochist 'cause wearing that thing under any piece of clothing has gotta be painful.

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