Remember all of those wild bashes you crashed this year that left you with a missing tooth and some sort of random animal in your room the next morning?
Well, this weekend is gonna top them all. That's because it's the last weekend of 2013! And in honor of the final two-day party period of the year, the Magic City is throwing a bunch of cheap parties overflowing with booze and pretty good local music.
Just check out the ten-best music related things to do under $10 this weekend. Here's to many more drunken shenanigans in 2014.
Sith-Mas: A Star Wars Christmas Party. With Eons and DJs Linder Smash, Kaos, Sweetswirl, JJ Contramus, Danxiety, and Ozwaldus. Friday, December 27, 10 p.m., The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami; 305-379-0508; thevagabondmiami.com. Free before midnight, $5 after. Christmas isn't Christmas without Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Chewbacca. That's why we're celebrating the season with Star Wars burlesque, a reading of 'Twas The Night Before Sith-Mas by the emperor himself, and even a Cos-Play dating game. May the force be with you.
See also: Five Best Concerts in Miami This Week
Jahfé. Friday, December 27, 11 p.m., Will Call, 700 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-577-5900; willcallmiami.com. Free. Jam to the smooth reggae vibes of Jahfé and just "be yourself," mon.
See also: New Times' Concert Calendar
"I'm Your Legal Dealer" Party. With JP Rigaud, Erhan Ozkaya, and Shoshone. Friday, December 27, 9 p.m., TSL Lounge, 167 NW 23rd St., Miami; 786-409-2241; tsllounge.com. Free. Get your uhntz-uhntz fix and "lubricate your senses" with house dealers JP Rigaud, Erhan Ozkaya, and Shoshone.
Third Annual B.O.M.B. Beard and Mustache Competition. With Los Bastardos Magnificos. Saturday, December 28, 7 p.m., Tobacco Road, 626 South Miami Ave., Miami; 305-374-1198; tobacco-road.com. Free for spectators, but donations are suggested. It costs about $22 to compete via bombmiami.eventbrite.com. Alright, so this event may only be free for those without a killer stache or beard, but it makes the cut on our party guide for three reasons: it's a 14-category facial hair competition by the Brotherhood of Mustaches and Beards, every dollar collected goes towards the Miami Rescue Mission, and you'll get to jam to some bluesy tunes from the bearded dudes of los Bastardos Magnificos. Not too shabby.
Echo Beach. With Surreal Flight and Smoothy. Saturday, December 28, 11 p.m., Do Not Sit on the Furniture, 423 16th St., Miami Beach; 305-450-3809; facebook.com/DoNotSit. Free before midnight. "Walk Into the Mellow" with Surreal Flight and let yourself be captivated by Smoothy's subtle jazzy house beats.
Space Between Words. With DJ Rich Eagleston. Saturday, December 28, 11 p.m., Kill Your Idol, 222 Española Way, Miami Beach; 305-534-1009. Free. Space Between Words is gonna have you feelin' electric with their "music from space that makes your bones feel good."
S&T Bodega. With Santiago Caballero and a surprise guest. Saturday, December 28, 11 p.m., The Garret at Grand Central, 697 North Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Free. Santiago Caballero knows how to throw one hell of a killer dance mix that combines classic tunes with a modern house twist. So put on your dancing shoes and get ready for some non-stop ass shaking.
The Southernmost Soul Party. With Action Pat and Mr. Brown. Saturday, December 28, 9 p.m., Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 786-752-6693; grampsbar.com. Free. Get your soul juices flowing with '50s and '60s R&B cuts from funk masters Action Pat and Mr. Brown, and some good 'ol southern fried potatoes and pulled pork from Ms. Cheezious.
Brendan O'Hara. Sunday, December 29, 9 p.m., 846 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-534-3600; thevandykecafe.com. $7. If listening to the fresh tunes of Brendan O'Hara on a Sunday night in paradise "is as good as it can be, well, good is good enough for [us]."
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Backyard Boogie. With DJ Keen One. Sunday, December 29, 3-11 p.m., Wood Tavern, 2531 NW 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-748-2828; woodtavernmiami.com. Free. It's the last Sunday of 2013, so we're gonna put on our funky shoes just to boogie with you, Miami. Happy New Year!