We here at Crossfade ask: "Is it Friday? Are your pockets packed with crisp Washingtons? Do you wanna party?"
And you answer: "Hell yes! And I need some booze and awesome tunes too. But, like, it can't cost more than ten bucks. 'Cause I'm basically broke today. Or all the time. Haha ... You can't spot me some cash, huh? Maybe just a Hamilton? Or a crumpled Jackson?"
No, as a matter of personal policy, we don't lend money to drinking buddies. But here's a list of the ten best music-related things to do in Miami this weekend under $10. Hope it helps, pal.
Mixed Culture and Two-Dollar Drinks for 100 Minutes. Friday, July 27, 6 p.m., Tobacco Road, 626 S. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-374-1198; tobacco-road.com. Getting wasted on $2 beers at Miami's most famous 100-year-old former speakeasy brothel while the sun goes down to a Latin reggae soundtrack ... We're gonna take a nap in the Miami River if this place ever goes outta business.
Arboles Libres' Father Album Release Party. Friday, July 27, 9 p.m., The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St. Miami; 305-379-0508; thevagabondmiami.com. These psyched-out folk rockers are awesomely unpredictable. They snack on ketchup-y french fries between chords. They destroy gear and keep on jamming. And according to frontdude Nacho, they don't even know the lyrics till they sing 'em.
The Revivalists. With Bachaco. Friday, July 27, 10 p.m., The Stage, 170 NE 38th St., Miami; 305-576-9577; thestagemiami.com. Admission costs $10. Ages 21 and up. 'Cause they're from Nawlins, The Revivalists are superchill dudes. They'll tag along on your road trip to Key West. They'll share a piña colada with you. And if you somehow become their girlfriend, they might even let you pee on their jellyfish-stung foot. See Crossfade's interview with The Revivalists.
The Return of Flamingo Fridays. Friday, July 27, 10 p.m., EVE, 1306 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-995-5050; miamieve.com. No cover. If you're looking for a strange musico-sexual experience, slither over to Flamingo Fridays where host Notorious Nastie will be shouting creepy come-ons, Metro Zu's Lofty will be unleashing an "RnB wet Set," and you shall witness the "first ever Noise Music Booty Contest to live speaker fvck by Rat [Bastard], [Sinclair] Von Bass & Balazs Pandi [666 cent]."
Talib Kweli DJ Set. Friday, July 27, 11 p.m., Blackbird Ordinary, 729 SW First Ave., Miami; 305-671-3307; blackbirdordinary.com. Usually, Talib Kweli's rockin' the motherfuckin' mike for big bucks. But tonight, he's beating up the turntables for free.
Anti-Imperialist Festival. Saturday, July 28, 6 p.m., Libreri Mapou, 5919 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-9922 ; librerimapou.com. Free, donations accepted. Screw domination and subordination at the hands of the Man! Protest political and economic oppression with Askultura, Kiki Wainwright, and Kazak on the anniversary of America's 1915 invasion of Haiti.
Dandy Rock Club. Saturday, July 28, 8 p.m., Lester's, 2519 NW Second Ave., Miami; 305-456-1784; lestersmiami.com. If you happen to be a caffeine-addicted acolyte of the so-called "cult of Self" who enjoys oddly danceable tuneage ... Go meet the Dandy Rock Club at Lester's for a cup of coffee and a few hours with Dino Felipe, 90s Teen, and Luma Junger.
Nick Tannura With a Side of Cheese and a Bottle of Wine. Saturday, July 28, 8:30 p.m., Kork Wine and Cheese Bar, 2 S. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-8899 ; korkwineandcheese.com. Cover costs $10. Got a date? Keep it classy with an evening of live jazz from Nick Tannura. Order a big hunk of Gorgonzola Dolce. Don't admit that you don't know shit about wine.
Gigamesh with Hank & Cupcakes. Saturday, July 28, 10 p.m., Bardot, 3456 N. Miami Ave. Miami; 305-576-7750; bardotmiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via eventbrite.com. Ages 21 and up It's gonna be a hot and sweaty gang scene, starring you, self-described "lover of science and sound" Gigamesh, and sexy Israeli duo Hank & Cupcakes. Don't forget your wet wipes, party people.
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New Times' Best of the Best Party. Saturday, July 28, 8 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE 2nd Ave. Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Open bar from 8 till 9 p.m. No cover. O'Grime! Die Trying! Chrome Dick! The New! DJ Skidmark! Bachamambo! And free booze for an hour! Hurry the fuck up!