Taylor Swift Goes Dubstep! Five Reasons Pop Stars Gotta Stop Whoring Out EDM
In a recent interview with MTV, the country-pop superstar said she unwittingly experimented with the once-underground UK sounds of dubstep on her forthcoming album Red, and we really couldn't be more disgusted.
Like, rly doe? Swiftstep, you're going there? This is the last thing the world needs, and here are five reasons to back away from the wobble and go home.
5. Whatever Happened to Country Music?
First of all, WTF? Isn't Taylor Swift supposed to be a "country music" star? We'll concede there's almost nothing country about her. The catchy, twangless, valley-girl sound makes John Denver look like a rough and rugged dirt road. How is the Midwest even relating to her at this point? Adding dubstep to the equation really seals the deal. Taylor Swift is about as country as Kim Kardashian's new Red Bottoms. Actually, country music might just be dead. Have you seen CMT lately? Gross.
4. The World Already Has Spearstep and Bieberstep
It's not like the radio hasn't already been flooded with shitty pop versions of the grimey dubstep reverbs. Britney Spears blew the lid off the sucker with her tragic "Hold It Against Me." Then Justin Bieber recently wub-dubbed all over "As Long As You Love Me." And songs that already existed, like "Le7els," got a dose of the dub when they hit radio, via Flo Rida's "Good Feeling." Now this sugary twat needs to infuse her acoustic break-up bullshit with the nastiness? Please, spare us.
3. Going "EDM" Makes You a Useless Black Hole of Creativity
Nothing says jumping-the-shark like blindly incorporating the "it" sound of the moment. And what really fucking sucks is Taylor's probably going to ride this dark horseman of the dubpocalypse all the way to the bank. And the guys producing this stuff aren't even the likes of Skream and Benga who actually deserve all the money from this cash cow. Instead, it's people who have been producing crappy, throwaway pop songs for years. We are calling thievery on these shenanigans.
2. Dubstep Isn't Even Cool Anymore
Srsly, dubstep hasn't been cool since 2010. And we're not talking about cool in the sense that your little brother gets mad stoked about it and it makes a lot of money for stupid pop stars. Clearly, it's still "popular." But this is just the bloated corpse stage of a movement that was once potent and exciting and groundbreaking. There's hardly any space for experimentation in this crowded room, and turning it into a commodity like this is only stifling the real growth and life that might still be hiding in the garbage pile.
1. This Music Meant Something to Someone Once
And that's the worst part, really. It's like dancing on the grave of someone's grandma. This music really changed lives, brought people together, and made them feel connected to the deepest of wub-wubs. You turned that beautiful feeling into a formula for Taylor Swift and other hackney two-bit musicians so they could sell records and top charts. Hopefully, everyone downloads this album illegally and the Top 40 starts to leave dubstep alone. But iHeartRadio is probably going to shove this down our throats so much the dub-doped masses won't be able to get enough. Shame on all of you.
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