Taylor Swift has been banging out big hits since she was just sweet 16.
It all began with 2006's "Tim McGraw," a love song, not for superstar singer Tim McGraw, but her high-school sweetheart. And ever since, the 21-year-old country-pop princess has played the role of Little Miss Kiss-and-Tell, penning songs about her romantic relationships with both young studs like Taylor Lautner and grown-ass men like John Mayer.
Her latest album, the immensely popular Speak Now, reads like a diary. And who is so incurious that they wouldn't want to read the most private journal of a star?
Websites devote endless pages to speculation about the manly subjects of Taylor's each and every confession. In the liner notes of Speak Now, Swift even eggs it on, offering a key to each song's inspiration by blatantly tucking hints into the lyrics.
So after this last album, dating Taylor Swift seems like a risky career move. Thankfully for her, she's gorgeous, and for her exes, all press is good press. It makes her kissing-and-telling a little less offensive.
Joe Jonas
These two did a whole lot of post-breakup shit-talking and their relationship eventually devolved into a bitter feud. It's been speculated that Swift dissed the crap out of Joe and his next girlfriend actress Camilla Belle in "Better Than Revenge" with meow-catty lyrics like, "She's an actress/She's better known for the things she does on the mattress." The liner note key: "You thought I would forget." Creepy.
But no worries for Jonas, he wrote his own diss track, "Much Better," referencing Swift's "Teardrops On My Guitar": "I get a rep for breakin' hearts/Now I'm done with superstars/ And all the tears on her guitar/I'm not bitter/But now I see/Everything I'd ever need/Is the girl in front of me/She's much better." Triple snap and talk to the hand, Miss Kiss-and-Tell.
Taylor Lautner
It's definitely strange when a girlfriend and boyfriend have the same name. Maybe that's why this dalliance didn't last long? Also, they kind of look alike. Anyway, the two Tays dated for about three months, and word on the interweb was that Swift just wasn't that into the Twilight series's werewolf hottie. The regretful romantic tune, "Back to December," is dedicated to Lautner. Poor puppy!
John Mayer
How old is John Mayer? 34. And he was 32 when rumors circulated that he boned 19-year-old Swift. The pair collaborated on "Half of My Heart" and they were later seen canoodling. It was reported that she even slept over at Johnny Boy's hotel. He sounds like a real keeper in the song "Dear John" as Swift sings, "Don't you think I was too young/To be messed with/The girl in the dress/Cried the whole way home." The liner note key: "Loved you from the very first day."
Man, Mayer sounds like a total pig here. But doesn't Lautner seems pathetic, and Jonas come off like a bitch? More importantly, though, Swift acts like an emotional bully.
Yes, it's empowering in a way. Girls rarely get much respect when complaining about exes. And this girl has legions behind her, defending her. The ability and resources to expose these mean, whiny, bratty men is a cool gift, certainly. But it's also unfair to her past loves.
Swift may be an open book. But she's also sort of a romantic tattle tale.
Taylor Swift. Sunday, November 13. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. The show starts at 7 p.m. and tickets cost $25 to $69.50 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 305-960-8500 or visit aaarena.com.
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